Journey of Life

Finally Exhaled

2012-01-21T06:11:00.000-08:00

With 2012 starting off like a sprinting race it has been non-stop go, go, go. The anticipation of the “new” to come and the many plans put in place for at least the first half of this year, it seems today (21 days into the New Year), I decided to exhale. Until this morning when I woke myself up with tears running down my cheeks, I realized I had been holding my breath this whole time. I suppose having this feeling of having so much to do (all good and desirable things), and the anticipation of how to manage it all, just momentarily took my breath away.

It’s funny in life how some times, for example, you have no idea you’re even holding your breath until that exact moment of exhale.

I suppose if I was to narrow things down and put a finger on the exact thing that caused me to hold my breath, I’d have to say it’s ‘change’. I can feel change of some kind in the air, and like most people change can be challenging. For me, if I’m honest with myself, I think I love the sense of ‘safeness’ in known routine. I love the since of ‘security’ in predictability. Mind you, I realize these terms of safeness and security are all just relative since change is inevitable, but nonetheless there’s that sense that gives us comfort.

Even if one’s existing circumstances are not as desirable as one would like, there’s still that sense of predictability that seem more tolerable than ‘unknown’ change.

On the other hand, preparing for a significant life altering change (wedding, career, family addition, purchasing a home, etc.) can be both exhilarating and somewhat terrifying all at the same time.

It seems once one goes through some kind of change or transition in their life, things eventually work themselves back into a state of predictability and calm, which is somehow comforting.

In my situation, it’s perhaps that not knowing at the moment what the change is, but rather just a ‘feeling’ of a life altering change is about to happen, which probably explains the unnoticeable breath holding I’ve been doing until this morning.

Here’s to remembering to breath. :0)

Amira's First of Many Experiences

2011-11-12T08:15:00.000-08:00

A week ago, Friday, Amira’s school had their annual Harvest Festival, which consist of food, crafts, community gathering and this year a talent show.

About a month prior to the Harvest Festival, Amira came home from school and announced that she wanted to sign up with one of her classmates for the talent show. Internally I was shocked because of her severe shyness, but externally I showered her with encouragement and support. She shared they were going to do a scene from Alice In Wonderland Jr., the musical. All new to me, but was excited for her nonetheless for her adventurous nature. She practiced everyday when she had free time.

A week prior to the Harvest Festival she even took her backpack to school with a few dresses and shoes to show her friend so they could decide what they were going to wear for their play.

The day of the Harvest Festival, Amira packed her backpack with all her wears and went off to school. At 4:30 that evening my dad and I arrived to greet Amira and assist with any last minute preparations for the big show. We also ran into her little friend that was equally as excited, nervous and ready to go.

Beings this was the school’s first year at having a talent show at the Harvest Festival, it was a bit unorganized leaving families uncertain as to where, when and what time the show was suppose to take place.

Like sheep we followed a flock to a classroom where we all gathered for the big event. You could clearly tell Amira was nervous but wanted to play it ‘cool’ around the other kids. The program directory was passed out and the talent show attendees where asked to sit up front. Amira’s little friend was still not in the room when the talent show began, which added greatly to Amira’s nervousness.

Amira’s name was finally called to step up, to which she did, but to tell the director that her friend was not here yet. Ugh! She returned to her seat and anxiously awaited her friend’s arrival.

A few acts later and her friend finally arrives. Amira runs back up to the director of the program and advises her that her friend has arrived, so they let the two of them go to center stage with a microphone in Amira’s hand. The room is silent and still. The two girls look out at the crowd, then look at one another. Amira’s eyes begin to wail up and she puts her hand around her throat. Her friend’s eyes are like a deer looking in headlights – wide as can be. They just stand there. Finally the director whispers to them, “it’s ok, you can sit down”. The two girls walk off the staging area. Everyone claps.

We make it through the remainder of the talent show, then Amira comes up to me barely holding back from crying and I grab her hand. She doesn’t not want much comforting as she’s seconds away from losing it and doesn’t want to do it in front of everyone.

We make our way to the car. Once inside we both start bawling like babies. I feel so horrible for how she’s feeling. She’s embarrassed and can’t stop crying. She wants to just go home. We held hands all the way home, and talked about the show. I shared with her how proud of her I was, and how proud others were of her for taking such a big step, as they know how shy she is. She tells me that when she looked out at the audience she was surprised how many people were there, and that Patrick’s advice (from Spongebob) of visualizing people in their underwear did not help AT ALL. I shared with her my experience of having to say or do something in front of people and how it made me feel. Hearing this seemed to help calm her nerves.

When we got home I asked if she wanted to share some hot tea together and she said that she did. As I was preparing the tea she decided to get this book she gave me last year which was a book of Maxine quotes (see below the first page of the book she turned too).

When I brought her a cup of tea, I found her crying again. I asked what happened and she said she got the “Maxine” book out as she thought it would cheer her up, but instead she said, “I opened the very first page and this is what I saw”.

Maxine can be so cold sometimes. LOL

Fundraiser

2011-11-08T06:04:00.000-08:00

Had an amazing weekend, last weekend. Conducted my first fundraising event. With the assistance of a friend of mine, we conducted a breast cancer awareness fundraiser. We've since changed the name to breast health awareness since we don't want our focus to be on cancer awareness, but rather on health awareness.

We conducted a massage marathon. Two days of massaging with proceeds going to the Susan G. Komen foundation for research.

Was a little nervous at first as there's a lot to consider and prepare for in pulling off such an event, but thankfully everything fell into place seemingly effortlessly.

Feeling so blessed and thankful for such an experience, the next plan is to do another fundraiser in the spring but on a bigger scale. Still considering the cause to support, but have it narrowed down to either something for children, diabetics, or abused women.

Crumbling & Dismantling

2011-10-20T19:37:00.000-07:00

As the walls crumble and the antiquated structures are dismantled, freedom is making its way all around the globe. What an exciting time to be living on planet earth. I feel so blessed and grateful to be a part of this time period. May we continue to learn more, so we can do better.

“Life without liberty is like a body without spirit.” ~Kahlil Gibran

Movement

2011-09-27T06:34:00.000-07:00

For the last couple of years it seems like we’ve been experiencing a pattern. Or perhaps it’s just that I’ve become more aware of time. In any event, during the last couple of years, each year starts out rather uneventful then around the middle of the year things really start to pick up speed. Certainly this year has been no exception. Although the world on a hold has been extremely active, it seems these activities have in some ways caused us all to stop or at best slow down. For certainly this year has been a show stopper on many fronts with the global economy dangling by a thread, tsunami in Japan, the unemployment situation in the U.S. (not to be elevated above any other countries unemployment situation—just it’s in my own back yard, so to speak), and the uprising/uprooting taking place in northern Africa to name a few. Needless to say someone, somewhere has been affected by these global events, which has caused them to stop or at best slow down. Perhaps these events have caused them to be present in their own lives for the first time in a very long time. I know on more than one occasion I’ve been halted in my tracks to stop and refocus to present time which was a true blessing, but yet at times so difficult to do when you’re so use to going a million miles another.

I’m not sure why we have this need, and possibly it’s just myself, to constantly be on the go, whether for family, work, education, etc. Even taking time for spiritual devotion (prayer) seems to be scheduled amidst all our other doings. Where did this way of thinking come from? This is not to say that I believe we should all be sitting around being unproductive, but maybe more reflective on how we spend our daily time. I think a lot of our daily living is not reflected on more than “this is what I have to do to survive”. Is that entirely true? Could we possibly live a different way and still survive?

Maybe, just maybe, these last couple of years of starting out rather uneventful and eventually progressing into more activity is nature’s way of slowing us down. Maybe it’s God’s way of giving us a gentle nudge to redirect our focus and reprioritize our lives. In any event, I feel blessed to be a part of this planet at this time of life to see the dynamic events unfold before the world as well as experience all the changes happening around us.

How do you feel about the times we are living in?

Time - My Nemesis

2011-08-07T07:25:00.000-07:00

"Be mindful of how you approach time. Watching the clock is not the same as watching the sun rise." -- Sophia Bedford-Pierce

Time has been my nemesis this summer, for literally it feels like I’m constantly battling for more of it.

From June until the current date, we have been going non-stop. We’ve had family and friends visiting with no break in between visits to recuperate and recharge for the next round, and I’m definitely starting to feel it. We have one more week until all company leaves and then a 3-day break before Amira starts back to school.

I don’t mean to sound ungrateful or unappreciative of the visits----not at all. In fact, some of the best memories and unexpected visits I ever expected to have, which was a wonderful delight. I’m just feeling the exhaustion of no down time and irregular routine. Funny that I would even ponder the thoughts of an irregular routine as that’s never been an issue for me before; however, over the last few years I’ve made more of a concerted effort for quiet time at home, so am perhaps feeling the affects of no quiet/recharge time.

I know Amira has been feeling the affects as well as she’s had lower energy charge than usual. Aside from all the visitors, which include lots of activities, sleep loss, and over-stimulation from everything and everyone, she also attended a day camp this summer for the first time. This day camp was close to my work, which was convenient for both of us. Her activities included swimming 2 days a week, a weekly field trip, and a day of games and rock wall climbing. It was an amazing camp and she seemed to thoroughly enjoy herself.
Struggling for time seems so funny to me, and yet it’s the one thing that seems to interrupt the balance of our lives. Well, we are off to a wedding for a friend’s daughter. Until next time, be well. Ramadan Kareem!

Pondering the Extreme Highs and Lows

2011-05-15T07:31:00.000-07:00

It feels we are definitely embarking on new territory as the days continue to pass. As unsettling and disturbing as some of the events are unfolding globally, I’m excited and looking forward to seeing the final outcome.

With events ranging from great excitement and joy to events ranging from grievous hardship, it can be taxing both on one’s psyche and physical being because they are occurring expeditiously as well as concurrently.

When one is grieving from such tragic hardship, are they even capable of finding that inner peace of calmness that still remains embedded in them?

When one is ecstatic from such wondrous joy, is there a part of them that feels a sense of guilt for feeling such a high because of the other tragic events of the world?

It seems as humans and perhaps because of certain beliefs held, spoken or unspoken for centuries, we can easily accept (perhaps ‘accept’ is not the right word)…..adapt or cope with the negative aspects of life more obsequiously than the positive. For it seems the moments of great joy are fleeting and expected to only last a short period of time. And yet, on the other hand there doesn’t seem to necessarily be an expected timelimit on dealing with difficult times. Why is that? Why are the struggling times painfully endurable when the joyous times spent seem so fleeting? It’s almost as if we’ve been engrained to deal with the difficult, and in some ways feel a tinge of guilt or unworthiness in celebrating our joy. Perhaps guilt and unworthiness are a little harsh, but my point is I’ve seen countless times those that are in a good place in their life almost shyly sharing their joy with their friends or family that may be going through a difficult time. In the same vain, those going through difficult times don’t seem to have such challenges in sharing with someone, whose experiencing a great joy in their life, their trials. Why is that?

Commonsense tells us that we do not all evolve at the same pace. Moreover, we do not all share the same joys or trials simultaneously. Thank God! Could you imagine? What if we were all suffering at the same time, who would be the one(s) to uplift and support us? On the flipside, how amazing would it be to live joyously and harmoniously together? The funny thing is, I know that last sentence would be received by some with a roll of the eyes and a thought of “yeah, right!” To which I would wonder, why not? We as humans are amazing creatures. We have proven time and time again how incredibly talented, smart, tender, compassionate, creative, etc., we are, so, why can’t we unilaterally tame our egos to be more supportive of one another?

Sending warm wishes and love to all.

Keep 'fear' in check

2011-03-20T08:28:00.000-07:00

With these trying times of natural disasters, heinous violence against humans, day-to-day stressors of life, and the bombardment of news pelting us from all angles, one could literally make them self sick with worry.

Remember to take deep breaths throughout the day, say a favorite mantra or prayer, and even sing your favorite tune just to remind yourself you are alive and present. Do what you can to help which includes taking care of yourself for the sake of others.

We Are The Ones We Are Waiting For

2011-03-19T11:41:00.000-07:00

If the Earth were only a few feet in diameter

2011-03-16T06:43:00.000-07:00

‎"If the Earth were only a few feet in diameter, floating a few feet above a field somewhere, people would come from everywhere to marvel at it. People would walk around it, marveling at its big pools of water, its little pools and the water flowing between the pools. People would marvel at the bumps on it, and the holes in it, and they would marvel at the very thin layer of gas surrounding it and the water suspended in the gas. The people would marvel at all the creatures walking around the surface of the ball and at the creatures in the water. The people would declare it precious because it was the only one and they would protect it so that it would not be hurt. The ball would be the greatest wonder known and people would come to behold it, to be healed, to gain knowledge, to know beauty and to wonder how it could be. People would love it, and defend it with their lives, because they would somehow know that their lives, their own roundness, could be nothing without it. If the Earth were only a few feet in diameter." Author unknown.

Events I never imagined happening in my lifetime

2011-02-25T21:34:00.000-08:00

My heart aches currently for the Libyan people. As I’ve been following newsreels, Internet articles, blogs and variant other means of news since Tunisia I’ve been feeling both thrilled and aghast of the daily events.

Beaming with pride for the peaceful marches being made to effectuate change in a country, nation, and even the world as we witness the power of the human spirit is exhilarating. However, at the same time witnessing the horrifying events of leaders blatantly deceiving their own people is deplorable.

Now as the world and I stand looking to Libya, I find myself sickened at the hourly, daily, weekly events that have been happening to Libyans.

Again, I find myself cheering loudly for the spirit and steadfastness of the people that are forging forward----for the great sacrifices that are being made to effectuate change. For their determination to make contact via telephone, Facebook, Twitter or emails every time there is access to technology is unbelievable. And yet, on the other hand due to the heinous acts being committed, I find it difficult to focus on a daily basis.

Even though geographically there is 6,673 miles or 10,738 km from northern California to Libya one’s hearts truly know no distance. I ache for the bloodshed, pain, suffering, and fear, which continue to remain rampant until there is a resolve. I hope and pray this happens soon.

My love, thoughts and prayers continue to diligently go out.

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T11:45:00.000-08:00

On this day ponder this, if you had it all to do over, would you do a better job loving yourself? If so, why not start now. Give to yourself what you want from others.

Quote for the day:

"A baby is born with a need to be loved and never outgrows it." Frank A. Clark

Educational Training on Cultural Diversity

2011-01-26T07:13:00.000-08:00

Had one of my Lucy Ricardo moments---I believe I took my daughter to a brothel on Monday.

On Monday Amira and I had lots of things to do after she got of out school, so I was strategizing the best way to do as many tasks as possible in the shortest time period.

I picked her up for school and told her of our errands (manicure, hair cuts, library run, groceries, etc.). I told her I spotted a place not far from her school where they were advertising inexpensive haircuts as well as offer manicure services too. I was excited about finding a place that was as they say “a one stop shopping” spot.

We pulled into this driveway and proceeded towards the salon which advertised on its door “a full service salon” (i.e., hair, nails, facials, massage).

We walked in the front door of this building which by the way had blocked off windows for seeing in which whould have been my first clue, but wasn’t, and was greeting by a beautiful Asian woman. She seemed surprised to see us but greeted us warmly nontheless (should have been clue #2—the surprised look, but wasn’t). I explained to her what I needed done for Amira and I and she tucked her head behind a curtain, mumbled some words in a foreign language and then reappeared. She exclaimed that the lady behind the curtain would gladly help me. Amira and I walke through the curtain to a small manicure/pedicure room and was greeted by another beautiful Asian woman. Upon telling us to sit, they were digging the nail equipment out of the drawers and storage area (again another clue something wasn’t what it seemed to be, but oh no…..I’m too focused on “one stop shopping and time management”).

Another beautiful Asian woman comes into the room to retrieve Amira as she has stated she’ll be trimming her hair. Out the curtain Amira goes to an area where a hair station is set up (thankfully I can see her from this vantage point). While the lady is manicuring my nails and not necessarily doing a great job, I realize its been quite awhile since Amira went to get her hair trimmed, and found this odd since it was just the ends of her hair that needed trimming. Finally Amira comes back into the room and literally it looked like not one hair had been cut. So much so that I actually ask Amira right then and there, did they cut your hair? She assures me they did and she’s satisfied with it.

Finally beauty #2 is done with my bloody stump fingers. I remind beauty #1 that I needed to still get my hair trimmed. She tells me the price and now I’m getting frustrated because it seems like the fees are being made up as we go. DUH, of course they were, but I’m still freakin’ clueless.

Beauty #1 takes me to the hair station and at this point begins to tell me, “oh you hair so prrretty, and so fashion”. In my bewilderment I see now an older Asian woman peaking out from behind the corner of another room and then quickly ducking back in. Me, thinking---“what the hell?” (At this point there's so many clues that I'm even embarassed to acknowledge.) The lightbulb which is ever so dim in my head is now finally fighting to flicker on.

I ask beauty #1, “so do you guys do massage here too?” Now normally in a hair or nail establishment operated by Asians they want to sell you on ever service---in fact almost pushing them all on you to try, but not in this case. Beauty #1 says, “uh yes – you like your hair, it’s soooooo prrrretty”.

Finally the ordeal is over and Amira and I leave. On to our next errand---to which I explain to Amira we’ll never be going back there---it was a weird place. She said, “yeah, it was. The lady who spoke English, I think she was the owner, she was teaching the other lady how to cut my hair when I was in there.”

As we arrived at our next destination Amira tells me that she forget her coat at that place we were just at. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr now I have to go back and get her coat. As I go back in the front door Beauty #1 quickly came to the front door and got wide eyed when she saw me. I told her we left my daughter’s coat there and she quickly scrampled for it. While doing so, I walked a little further in the entry way and what did I see……..two gentlemen sitting in the hair station chairs. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, just saying…….something wasn’t what it appeared.

I'll have to chalk it up to educational training on cultural diversity.
Good grief Charlie Brown!

Time Management

2011-01-05T09:24:00.000-08:00

Learning to not waste your own time.

It is so easy to stand in your own way, to distract yourself from changing, growing or transforming from what was to what will be. Even in the mist of your fears, sadness, depression, idleness, restlessness, boredom, laziness it is so easy to get distracted. It is so easy to justify spending more time on the computer, texting on our cells, or whatever we do to kill precious moments of our own time. Yes, yes, yes, of course we can justify it, but why is it necessary? What are we avoiding?

Give yourself and your life an earnest look over and ask yourself, “Am I wasting my own time? Am I standing in my own way of achieving whatever goal(s) I’ve pondered for myself?” If the answer is “yes”, then consider new time management. Stop wasting your own precious time.

I give this little discussion to myself, really. For I know and have known for sometime that I stand in my own way of achieving certain goals. Not to say I haven't been successful because that wouldn't be a true statement. I've achieved a great number of goals for myself.....goals I never truly imagined would come true, but over my lifetime have indeed come to fruition. However, when I look at these achievements, I realize they are somewhat distant from my personal being. That is except for one, and that is being a mother. All other achievements are a distant from thy personal being, which may explain why they were achievable. A somewhat non-detachment, I suppose, to them.

“So what am I blathering about”, I ask myself. I’m blathering about my willingness to keep a distance between myself and whoever my life partner may be. For far too many years, I’ve built walls, barricades, hell even a fortress around my heart out of fear of being hurt, betrayed and fooled again. My pride could not stand the idea of that ever happening again. Moreover, I never wanted my daughter to see that vulnerable side of myself with a man.

However, even in the mist of this battle brocade I was shrouding over myself, I still felt the whimperings and longings of a cohesive partnership.

I know the price for this to happen. I know I must be willing to lower some of the shields I have in place in order to show the universe I am willing and wanting to proceed in achieving such a partnership.

Am I scared? Yes! Am I willing to stop wasting my time and consider the possibilities? Yes! Will I succeed? Time will tell.

Completion of 2010

2010-12-31T19:13:00.000-08:00

The best way I can think of leaving 2010 is with a good belly laugh.

Happy New Year to you all. Many blessings for a wonderful, loving, prosperous and peace-filled new year.

Final quote of the year - No one else can speak the words on your lips. Drench yourself in words unspoken. Live your life with arms wide open. Today is where your book begins. The rest is still unwritten. Natasha Bedingfield

Amira's letter to Grandpa

2010-12-23T16:32:00.000-08:00

Mom

2010-12-20T12:24:00.000-08:00

‎"No gift to your mother can ever equal her gift to you - life."

Thinking of my mom on her birthday today.

Miss you dearly.

Amazing

2010-12-19T07:36:00.000-08:00

Some days it's so hard to believe Amira is now 7 years old and in second grade. I don't think we truly appreciate the term "where does the time go" until we have our own children.

Amira seems to like second grade much better than first. There is more of a sense of confidence in her. She really enjoys reading and math, but still holds the most finity for art.

Processing of frustration

2010-11-27T03:19:00.000-08:00

I find myself as of late feeling a bit frustrated. For some reason, logic doesn't always seem to be the first line of response when processing emotions.

About 3 weeks ago my clinic unexpectedly closed. We were given no notice, as from what I could gather the owners of the clinic were attempting until the last minute negotations with our building landlord which turned fruitless in the end. The landlord of our building is in Bankruptcy proceedings and his assets and properties are now under the control of a Federal Bankruptcy Trustee. The lease of our building came up for lease renewal and the Federal Bankruptcy Trustee denied our renewal. Very frustrating! The owners of our clinic offered to pay our lease rent for 3 or 4 months in advance in order for us to stay operational until our clinic could relocate to another location as the owners had already put the wheels in motion for aquiring another space, but again we were denied. This left quite a number of us instantly out of work, which of course is not a surprise or new news to anyone.........accept for those of us immediately affected by the situation.

In the meantime, the owners of our clinic also have a sister clinic further north.......it's a slower and smaller clinic. They offered us to work out of their sister clinic until they were able to get the other clinic relocated and operable. Due to the distance this sister clinic is from my home, I am only reasonably able to work 2 days a week there, which of course affects my income greatly.

I have been searching for alternative work as well as considering alternative methods of starting my own practice incorporating my skills. At the end of the day, what this frustration comes down too is a lack of financial resources. I have knowledge, skills and even a degree which is quite an accomplishment, but it seems without funds one is very limited.

Perhaps it is naivee to say that this current situation was brought about as an opportunity to catch my attention to do something different. From a spiritual standpoint, it has always been my experience and perhaps belief that when a door suddenly closes in your life, it's a sign that a new one is preparing to open and to be looking for that opening. It's within that timeframe (between the closing of one door and opening of another) I find myself. It's that timeframe of uncertainty that I allow myself to get frustrated. I want to know the answer. I want to know where the next door is going to open. I want to know when the next door is going to open. I don't know that I necessarily want to know how it will open as I leave the how part up to the Creator. Funny little side note about human behavior as much as many of us proclaim, profess and even believe in a Creator of the Universe....something higher than ourselves.....often referred to as Allah/God/Jehovah/Bhagwaan we seem to struggle most with the idea of completely surrendering to the unknown. Which, again, would express best how and why I am feeling the way I am right this moment. Thankfully moments don't last forever, but at times they feel that way.

I realize its the sitting through the in between times one must still them self to listen, see and hear answers, but at this very moment I'm not doing very well at any of those things.

Bruno Mars - Just The Way You Are [Official Video]

2010-11-18T07:08:00.000-08:00

Heard this song for the first time yesterday and fell in love with it.

Secret Garden - Prayer (With Lyrics)

2010-11-09T13:22:00.000-08:00

Put the Glass Down!

2010-10-20T06:31:00.000-07:00

The professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water init. He held it up for all to see and asked the students, "How much do you think this glass weighs?"

"50gms!".....100gms!".....125gms"... the students answered.

"I really don't know unless I weigh it," said the professor, " but, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?"

"Nothing," the students said.

"Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?" the professor asked.

"Your arm would begin to ache," said one of the students.

"You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?"

"Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress and paralysis and have to go to hospital for sure!" ventured another student and all the students laughed.

"Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?"asked the professor.

"No," was the answer.

"Then what caused the arm ache and the muscle stress?"

The students were puzzled.

"What should I do now to come out of pain?" asked the professor again.

"Put the glass down!" said one of the students.

"Exactly!" said the professor.

Life's problems are something like this. Hold it for a few minutes in your head and they seem OK. Think of them for a long time and they begin to ache. Hold it even longer and they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything. It's important to think of the challenges or problems in your life, But EVEN MORE IMPORTANT is to'PUT THEM DOWN' at the end of every day before you go to sleep. That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh and strong and you can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!

So,when you finish your day today, remember to PUT THE GLASS DOWN!

First field trip of the year

2010-10-10T19:25:00.000-07:00

Last Friday Amira's class had their first field trip of the year. We went to Sausalito, California which is a cute little town just north of San Francisco.

This year Amira's class is studying the waterways around our area and how they work. The first study was conducted at the Bay Model Museum. The Bay Model Visitor Center is a fully accessible education center administered by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers which makes possible the viewing of a scientific tool: a working hydraulic model of the San Francisco Bay and Sacramento - San Joaquin River Delta System. This was a fascinating museum, however, it will be even more impressive once they complete their construction as the model itself was dry during the visit.

After visiting the Bay Model Museum we proceeded to the other end of town and had lunch on Rodeo Beach which was located just below our second field trip stop. It was fun to watch the kids running around in the sand searching for shells. Some even enjoyed running in at the water's edge.

The second field trip stop we made was to the Marine Mammal Center. This was an absolutely amazing place. The Marine Mammal Center is a nonprofit veterinary research hospital and educational center dedicated to the rescue and rehabilitation of ill and injured marine mammals – primarily elephant seals, harbor seals, and California sea lions. We were able to go to a public viewing area and see the animals they currently had in their care and observe them.

We had such a wonderful time that Amira and I will be planning another trip down there, just the two of us, to spend some more quality time exploring these places along with the town of Sausalito itself.

Field trips are the reason I love kids going to school. :D

Dream Weaver

2010-09-10T06:45:00.000-07:00

Dream Weaver - Gary Wright song as background (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Hdx9JjzDfo)

Last Saturday morning after being up for an hour or so, I decided to go check on Amira for no other reason than to see her. As usual she was sleeping peacefully. I could see she was dreaming so I stayed extra quiet as to not disturb her. Not knowing exactly how much time had past; she woke up and saw me next to her. Her face was lit up, and she said, “Mom, I had an amazing dream”. Keep in mind Amira is very private and most times does not even share her dreams with me. She claims they are scary and doesn’t want to talk about them. So you can imagine the anticipation of wanting to hear this rare beauty.

The following is Amira’s dream.

I was playing with my friend, Emily, and I wished I could fly and the next thing I knew I could fly. I was flying all around and it was so much fun. Then the next thing I knew I was flying to God and the angels. When I got to them I said I can’t believe I can fly, how can I fly? The angels told me they thought I’d like flying so they helped me out. They asked me if I liked it, and I told them yes.

I then asked the angels if I could see someone that was there. They asked who, and I told them my grandma. The angels said they needed her name. I told them, all I know is her name is Linda. They said oh yes, she’s here and they got her. Grandma said hi Amira and came to me. She said come here I want you to meet my new friend. She said she wanted me to see where she lives now. We talked and played and it was so fun. Then I told Grandma I had to go because my mom would be worried about me being gone so long, and then Grandma hugged me. Then I heard you calling my name Amira, Amira, Amira and I woke up.

Winners and Whiners

2010-08-07T06:39:00.000-07:00

The other day one of my co-workers had a book sitting on the desk next to them. The title alone caught my attention, thus causing me to pick it up and further inquire. Of course, I needed to borrow this little ditty because the cover was not enough to satisfied my need to read more.

Here's the title and description on the back cover.

The Top 10 Distinctions between Winners and Whiners

10. Winners take responsibility.
Whiners play the victim.

9. Winners can have what they want.
Whiners want what they cannot have.

8. Winners find a way.
Whiners find an excuse.

7. Winners brighten a room by entering.
Whiners brighten a room by leaving.

6. Winners listen twice as much as they talk.
Whiners talk twice as much as they listen.

5. Winners enjoy life's journey.
Whiners put their joy in the destinations.

4. Winners build friendships.
Whiners destroy friendships.

3. Winners think big.
Whiners think small.

2. Winners are focus-minded.
Whiners are scatterbrained.

1. Winners create positive meanings.
Whiners create negative meanings.

2010-07-31T18:45:00.000-07:00

One of my clients has written a book entitled Radically Spiritual Adventures Everyday. He came in one day for treatment excited to share his book had just hit the print and showed it to me. Of course, excited for him and his partner I was the first to purchase it.

When time allows I’ve been gradually reading through this delightful book that seems to confirm and resonate well my own beliefs.

Today I was reading a chapter entitled Accepting Life on Life’s Terms – A Really Radical Spiritual Adventure, and in this chapter was an excerpt of a story called The Road of Life by an unknown author. It was such a nice excerpt that I thought I’d share.

“At first it seemed to me as thought life were rather like riding on a tandem bike with God in the back helping me pedal. I was in control. I knew the way. Life was rather boring, but it was predictable. I always made sure we took the shortest distance between two points. I don’t remember exactly when it was that God suggested we change places, but I can tell you life has not been the same since.

When God took over the lead, we stopped taking shortcuts. He, in fact, started taking us on unexpected long cuts, up mountains and through rocky places at breakneck speeds. It was all I could do to hang on. Even though it looked to me like madness, He just said, ‘Keep pedaling’! I was anxious and worried and I asked, ‘Where are you taking me’? He just laughed and didn’t answer….and I had to learn how to trust.

I forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure. When I’d say I was scared, He’d lean back and touch my hand. He took me to people with gifts I needed, gifts of healing, acceptance and joy. They were gifts to take on my journey, my God’s and mine!

When we were off again, God said, ‘Give the gifts away; they are extra baggage, too much weight.’ So I did, to people we met, and I found that in giving I received, and still our burden was light. I did not trust Him at first to be in control of my life. I thought He’d wreck it, but I’ve discovered He knows bike secrets, knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners, jump to clear high rocks and fly to shorten rough passages.

I’ve learned to shut up and just pedal. Even in the strangest places our adventure takes us, I’m beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face as my travel guide, God, leads the way. Now and then, when I think I know which road is best or which way we should go, He just smiles and says….’Keep pedaling’.”

Big Adventure

2010-07-24T06:57:00.000-07:00

Road trip! This year has been one big adventure after another--from small to large and everything in between.

For Amira's 7th birthday, my dad's gift to her was a trip to Disneyland. He decided he wanted to take her there, and my nephew to San Diego to the Maritime Museum and some other side ventures.

So, in early July we were off on yet another road trip to southern California. The entire trip was flawless----truly magical.

The first day at the park was the 4th of July (Amira's bday), and everywhere she wanted to go and every ride she wanted to go on we seemed to always be first in line. My dad and I were shocked as we've experienced Disneyland and know of their long lines, but for some reason this day was different. Of course, Amira never being there before and knowing of the long lines these magical feats meant nothing to her, but to my dad and I they were ecstatic.

Truly she was blessed on her birthday with wonderful fortune of shuttling through everything in true princess style because the next day she experienced long lines and waiting.

Through the entire experience, one of the things I found most curious was how sooooooo many people of variant cultural backgrounds, economical backgrounds, educational backgrounds, and even religious backgrounds could all gather together, spend hours together, enduring the long lines together and yet all seem to move along harmoniously. Amazing isn't it? If so possible and indeed it was, why can't the rest of the plant get on this same harmoniously plane? Ok, that's not entirely fair------let me re-word it. Why can't the government officials---the seemingly powers-to-be get on board with the rest of the harmonious group? Perhaps they've never experienced Disneyland! :-) Although in all earnestness we know there's plenty that have not experienced Disneyland but are still pleasant by nature to be around. It just seems to affect those that thirst and hunger for power and greed so badly----they are the ones who miss out in life.

Anyway, here are some photos of our venture.

Submitted

2010-06-02T06:54:00.001-07:00

Submitted PhD dissertation yesterday, and now waits for approval.

It’s been both an exciting and hectic experience, and to be honest I haven’t fully absorbed all of it yet. The thought of having a PhD title and all it entails seems very surreal to me.

The field of study is neither foreign nor unfamiliar to me, as I’ve been using it in my daily life for years while interacting with others. It is just now I’ll hold the “official” title. A title, honestly, I never imagined in my wildest dreams holding.

Truly with God all things are possible-----the seen or unseen.

For how often have you been strolling down your perfectly planned life, then suddenly shifted off course with no rhyme or reason, only to be placed on a more illuminated path that has no past or future but the present steps you are currently taking?

Again knowing God’s hands are in all things, makes this crazy life we live abundantly beautiful and worth living.

Can’t wait to see what happens next!

How do you spend your Sunday?

2010-05-16T16:49:00.000-07:00

Today (Sunday) started out with some high cloud coverage with temperatures setting in the mid 70's with a slight breeze. Amira and I decided to spend some time in our backyard, dedicated the name “Peace Garden” by Amira. She decided to bring her dolls outside and set them on the lounge chair to sun bathe as the clouds temporarily parted bringing a beautiful blue sky and bright sun.

She then decided to drag out a table and set of chairs she had in her bedroom for a tea party.

But the part I really loved was the "basketball net" she decided to attach to the back of the house. Pictures below---for truly I could not describe it as well as the pictures show it. :-)

Before going on, I have to tell you her "tools" for attaching it to the house and her thought process behind using these tools.

1-tape
2-massage oil
3-soap

Tape for the obvious reason of adhering it to the wall. When I asked about the other two "tools" she stated the massage oil was "kinda sticky and the soap dried things", which apparently was serving as another adhesive. Pretty smart cookie, eh?

While I was sitting in the "peace garden" reading a book she returned inside to do something. She eventually returned to the backyard and said that she wanted me to come inside with her and jump. Jump???? "Jump on what", I asked. She suggested I come inside so she could show me. Of course being a mom---told her she had to clean up the backyard first then I'd come inside.

After everything was clean, we went inside. To my utter surprise I found her mattress sitting in the living room for her jumping pleasure. Again, pictures attached as they say far more than words.

So, that's how we spent our Sunday. How about you?

Reflection

2010-05-14T20:45:00.000-07:00

Life is funny – Had one of those ‘Aha’ or ‘Good Grief’ moments today. Realized as a single mom with virtually no alone time to really speak of----I essentially threw away my younger years wasting my entire “nobody to worry about but me” time pining over not being married and have a family yet. Stupid, stupid, stupid

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-09T07:17:00.000-07:00

School of Life

2010-05-08T07:24:00.000-07:00

Dad is home and recovering nicely. He went for a walk yesterday-delighted to start doing it again. He's determined to live life as he believes he still has much to do and see. What I learned from this whole experience was that until that moment he came out of surgery I'd been merely existing since my mom passed---not really living. I believe this is also true for my dad and brother. Here's to learning how to live!

Michael Bernard Beckwith--Your life began in the heart and mind of the Infinite. Mentally relive the days when as a child you ran free, when there were infinite possibilities of what you could feel, accomplish, and see in the world. Allow for the energy of your remembered freedom to thunder through you, and you will free yourself from the false obstacles your adult life has put in your path.

What a day!

2010-05-06T06:28:00.000-07:00

Around 11 a.m. I received a text message from my brother stating the Angiogram revealed a 90% blockage in one artery and 50% in a couple other ones. Immediately contacting him to inquire further he stated they were scheduling an ambulance to take dad from Kaiser to Mercy hospital which is one of the best-known cardiology hospital in the U.S. to have a stint put in.

I raced down to the other hospital and was blessed to find my dad just minutes before wheeling him off to surgery. You could certainly see he was scared, but at the same time he was relieved they found something and were handling it quickly.

Total time was around an hour and a half, then his cardiologist came out bearing pictures and sharing explanations. He indicated the right artery going into the heart was extremely calcified which was a challenge, but in the end he was able to insert two stints. He said the other blockages were minor and could be treated with medication. He said dad was in good shape and should be let go the next day.

As soon as dad came out of surgery and was being wheeled to his room we walked beside him; he was awake and talking. Within an hour of the surgery you could see his color in his face and body return and his hands had started to regain warmth. By 9:30 last night they were removing the sandbag from his leg which was being used as pressure on his femoral artery.

More than anything, dad shared he was hungry. Hahahahahaha So like our family! They managed to round up a delicious dinner which he ate, then caught some rest.

Mere words of thanks do not seem adequate enough to say for the overwhelming appreciation I have for your love, support and most of all prayers. Truly we are blessed to have you in our lives.

With love,
Me

Prayer request

2010-05-04T06:29:00.000-07:00

Recently (about a week ago and a half ago) my dad shared with me that he went in for his annual physical and during said visit he shared with his doctor a slight burning he's felt in his chest when he either rides his bike up hills or walks up hills, but once he's been doing it for a period of time the burning subsides. Moroever, he shared that when he does his rigious indoor physical activity this burning sensation never occurs.

His doctor was concerned about hearing this information and scheduled a treadmill exam, which he has completed. He was then referred to see a Cardiologist which he saw yesterday. The Cardiologist was impressed with my dad's treadmill results----indicated he was in really good shape but there was something going on and they needed to do further test to narrow their results. They have scheduled him for a Coronary Angiogram Procedure tomorrow morning at 8 a.m.

I realize these procedures have come a long way even since my mom had one a number of years ago, but the old memories of those days immediately came flooding back when my dad shared he had to have one. I don't want to dwell on these feelings of fear as I want to stay focused with a positive attitude to support my dad, which is why I'm imploring your prayers.

I will keep you posted.

Garden season may finally be here

2010-05-02T11:09:00.000-07:00

Amira and I have been anxiously waiting to plant a garden this year, but the weather has been so unpredictable that we haven't wanted to take the chance too soon. However, now that May has arrived we believe it's safe to plant.................so we did.

Tomatoes (Ace, Brandywine, Tumbling Tom Yellow)

Strawberries

Mint (from last year)

Armenian cucumbers & Miniature red peppers

Quickened Update

2010-04-29T07:01:00.000-07:00

Getting further and further behind with updates----not good!

The same week my Jasmine kitty passed away, my entire family drove down to southern California to see my grandmother. My grandma (my mom’s mom) is 88 years old and has been living on her own for quite a number of years. She’s out lived two husbands and has overcome many obstacles in her life, which is I’m sure a testament to her strength.

Around the end of February my grandma fell and fractured her hip. She was taken to the ER where they performed surgery inserting a still rod in her hip. She was then taken to a rehab facility where she received excellent rehabilitation along with physical therapy twice a day 6 days a week. My grandma took her recovery very seriously and really concentrated on learning all the skills she was being taught to once again regain her independence.

During this recovery time though my aunt and her husband came out from Kansas to care for her, and while doing so assumed grandma would not improve and began immediately clearing out her home by holding garage sales and such to streamline grandma’s things. This of course did not bode well with grandma or with any of my family as we felt this was too quick of a reaction. Moreover, we felt the priority should have been on grandma. We felt by providing grandma with love, support and encouragement she would flourish with her recovery. Moreover, we felt that should grandma need to move from her home due to needing assistance why not look for something in southern California where grandma had been living for 60 years and wanted to remain. Again, this was not the same focus for my aunt and her husband. Their plan and intentions were to immediately upon release haul grandma with her recovering hip back to Kansas where she knew no one. Hence our reason for rushing down to southern California to be with grandma.

We spend the weekend with her and were even able to communication with one another open and candidly our feelings on the subject matter which grandma was very open and willing to discuss.

My fear and brother’s fear was the same---we did not want her to go, especially with my uncle who was an abuser. He sexually abused my girl cousin and I when we were young girls, and he mentally abused my brother and my boy cousin also when they were young. There is no love or respect for that man in any of our hearts, and think of our 88 year old grandmother going to live under his roof was unthinkable, and we shared such thoughts with her as well.

In the end, after all was said and done, grandma decided she was not going to sell her home in southern California but would go to Kansas to live with her daughter and give it a try. She said by keeping her home in California she could always return if things didn’t work in Kansas.

Of course we keep in contact with grandma and continue to pray for her wellness, however, at times it feels like a real helpless feeling.

I realize my viewpoint on this subject matter is extremely tainted and summarized as these things have already passed so forgive the biasm.

Amira's Masterpieces

2010-04-11T06:14:00.000-07:00

We have been so busy lately that updating has been difficult to manage. Will update soon, but until then here's a few more pieces of Amira's artwork. :-)

Bunny

Frog

Remembrance & Gratitude

2010-03-17T09:17:00.000-07:00

After nearly 15 years of love, devotion and companionship, my precious kitty Jasmine passed in the early morning hours.

Although the memories will last forever, right now the pain of the loss is too much.

I will always love and miss you Jasmine kitty.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ~Kahlil

Gratitude

2010-03-11T06:42:00.000-08:00

Recently, I've been struggling with Amira's perceived attitude. What I seem to hear most often is all the things she's unhappy about (i.e., I didn't get to watch my show, how come I always have to take a shower, I don't like my sandwich, I didn't get the right kind of Gold Fish crackers I like, etc.) Note: Most of the things she complains about are an after affect due to not voicing her desires or thoughts ahead of time. Almost as if waiting, then complaining.

Perhaps it's not that bad, but it's what my ears seemed to be attuned to lately, and quite frankly it bothers me. So, I decided to recently add another little "ritual" to our daily lives to see how that might change the mood direction. I asked her the other day what she was grateful for, and she asked me what "grateful" meant. So, I explained to her that it was our way of acknowledging all those things we are thankful for, for example---I'm thankful that the sun was shining today.

She proceeded to ask me why we needed to do that, and I explained because it's our way of acknowledging and thanking God for our countless blessings we receive everyday.

So, Tuesday, this week, on our way to school, I asked her "Ok, so tell me what you are thankful for today". Her response was, "I don't know, the day hasn't started yet". To which, I laughed and said, "baby the day started when you opened your eyeballs this morning". Then, I said, "I'm thankful for the beautiful birds that were singing this morning". She said, "can I tell you after school today?"

After dinner that evening I decided to ask once again, "so, what are you grateful for?" And the response I got was priceless.

Amira-"Can I first tell you what I'm not grateful for?" At this point I wanted to scream because I was getting so tired of this perceived negativity, but decided better. Decided I should allow her to express this thought, so she'd be free to express something positive.

Me-"Sure"

Amira-"I'm not grateful I had to twirl the jump-rope all day at recess while the other kids jumped."

Me-"Ahhhh"

Amira-"I'm grateful I got Ms. Peggy this morning when we drove through the car line at school."

She rattled a few more off, then asked me what I was grateful for to which I shared. By the end of dinner there was a definitely change in attitude. Felt lighter.

Here's for being grateful!

Artist in the making

2010-03-07T08:22:00.000-08:00

Amira has recently shown an interest in art, so found a school in a nearby town that offers art classes to children of all ages.

Yesterday was her first trial class and here's the results of her first project.

She seemed to really enjoy herself, so she's been officially signed up and will continue attending classes on Saturday mornings.

Looking forward to sharing future Amira works with you.

Monterey/Pacific Grove/Carmel by the Sea

2010-03-06T07:12:00.000-08:00

This past weekend, Amira's class was having an "optional" family field trip to Point Reyes, CA, which is located on the coast of California.

Due to the weather (rain), we opted to pass on the field trip, and instead headed to Monterey, CA to explore the Monterey Bay Aquarium. Figuring Amira would still be able to explore the oceanic sea life, but under drier conditions.

The weekend weather turned out to be absolutely perfect for the field trip, thus allowing us to take in so much more than the aquarium. We also ventured to Pacific Grove, which is noted for being the Monarch Butterfly capitol as well as to Carmel-by-the Sea, famously noted for Thomas Kincaid's work.

After visiting the breathtaking landscape of Carmel-by-the-Sea, I understood Thomas Kincaid's art much better-----for he depicts the actual beauty on the outside, but not the beauty on the inside of the town's people because there wasn't much beauty to capture upon. Although esthetically the little village on the sea was breathtakingly beautiful the people themselves were somewhat snobby and rude. Of course not all as we encountered some lovely people, but I would say as a general consensus the majority were snobby.

Here are some photos that captured our weekend.

Science Fair

2010-02-26T06:46:00.001-08:00

Well it's that time of year again----Science Fair! Although I love seeing all the creative inventions the kids bring to school and demonstrate, I really have no connection to science for some reason. Hopefully my lack of enthusiasm won't detour Amira from exploring it if she has an interest.

Last year we did and erupting volcano, which was pretty cool. This year Grandpa offered to help Amira with her experiment and they came up with a gas balloon. The two of them had fun creating the experiment as well as exploring other alternatives to see if they got the same result.

Without further ado, here's their work.

Thought for the day

2010-02-13T11:30:00.000-08:00

As we go through our daily lives and thoughts, it's amazing when we come across something which causes us to stop and be fully present. Love those moments filled with messages to remind us to be grateful no matter what.

"All of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today."
- Dale Carnegie

Reading Corner

2010-02-03T06:31:00.000-08:00

In the mist of the madness of the days events I'm always looking for a way to quiet the mind and still the spirit, and one of the ways I do so is in reading. Setting aside the study and research matter for a bit in order to quiet and still myself, I picked up a book my brother got me recently called A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier by Ishamel Beah.

The first sentence alone in the book grabbed me and pulled me in immediately.

"There were all kinds of stories told about the war that made it sound as if it was happening in a faraway and different land..." Also the last sentence of the first page continued to pull at me to continue. " "The only wars I knew of were thoe that I had read about in books or seen in movies such as Rambo: First Blood, and the one in neighboring Liberia that I had heard about on the BBC news."

Probably the most surprising and unfathomable part was that this story line takes place in the mid 90’s. Yes, of course, I realize there’s unthinkable things happening all over the world to millions of humans, but for some reason this particular reminder just pulled at me.

This is an extraordinary memoir by a young man who has lived and seen the worst of humanity and managed to survive and become a better man for all the tragedy, violence, horror and degradation he was forced to witness as a 12-year old boy. I can see this as required reading in high schools across the country. It is not only that good, it is that important. The writing is honest, straightforward, painfully introspective but never self-pitying. Truly an amazing story, and a history lesson we all need be reminded of now and again.

Another observation that I noted was the boy came from a Muslim background, yet “Religion” was not a topic on the table, which I found refreshing. For often times, the topic of “religion” can sidetrack some from the whole picture at hand. However, admittedly, I’m curious to know his spiritual reflection during and after such a hellish time in one’s life.

Simply put-excellent!

Messages all around us

2010-01-18T19:47:00.000-08:00

This weekend I flew to Arizona for an extremely quick visit with my family. As always, it was an action packed weekend spent with countless hours of laughter.

On Sunday afternoon a few of us girls went to Scottsdale to do some window shopping and stumbled upon some really chic boutiques. In one of the shops we browsed around ewwwing and awwwing over everything all the while chatting with one of the sales associates, which was great fun. On our way out of the store we found located above the door the following message.

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others;
For beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”
~Audrey Hepburn

An off we go

2010-01-12T19:31:00.000-08:00

Well 2010 has started off quickly with lots of things to do----far faster than last year.

Work has been steadily busy---yippie! School is moving along quite nicely; however, I wish I could have finished at the end of 2009 but such is life.

This week my dad and I are going to a play written, produced and played by Tyler Perry called One Big Happy Family. It should be great as everything I've seen produced by Tyler has been awesome. Great message in all his work with lots of humor and real life situations. Good stuff.

Then this weekend, flying to Arizona to hang out with cousins for a couple of days.

So, all in all 2010 is looking way up. :-)

What's new with you?

Happy New Year's

2009-12-31T07:21:00.000-08:00

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.”Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Here's to the bright New Year, and a fond farewell to the old; here's to the things that are yet to come, and to the memories that we hold.

Christmas 2009

2009-12-27T08:47:00.000-08:00

What can one say about Christmas 2009-----aside for being grateful it's now over. Cynical, huh? In all honesty, the day was nice but was definitely different. Unlike last year, being the first year without my mom, which seemed rather surreal and numbing to say the least, it seemed emptier. We (dad, brother, and I) muttered through the holidays as if they were just another day----days we wanted to pass as quickly as possible for we didn't want to be reminded that she wasn't with us. Certainly with the passing of time the onslaught of uncontrollable tears has subsided slightly but the loss still remains the same.

On Christmas Eve the entire family went to a church service then over to my dad's for a lovely dinner. He's quite the gourmet. :-) The evening and time spent together was very nice.

Christmas day my dad came over to our house to watch Amira open her presents, have breakfast, as well as taking a nice long walk around the neighborhood. Then later we went to my brother's for dinner.

So, what made this holiday season seem any different?

Normally, the first person awake on Christmas day would call out "Christmas gift" which would then cause everyone else to wake up and gather around the tree. The caller of “Christmas gift” was also entitled to open the first gift. Even over the years when my brother and I had our own homes it would be a race to see who called whom first on the phone and shout "Christmas gift". Also, Christmas was always spent at my parents’ house. My mom loved the holiday so much that her excitement became infectious to all of us. She'd decorate her house with such care and enthusiasm. She’d also bake endless mounds of cookies and fudge to hand out to everyone she knew as well as have available for anyone that happened to stop by.

My dad and I are somewhat perceived as the bah-hum-bugs in the family because we don't get all into the hype of Christmas. However, this does not mean we do not have an appreciation for such excitement. Me and his idea of Christmas is getting together as a family, having a nice day and spending time together without all the commercialism. But, if left to our way of thinking it would feel rather lacking in festivity. Thank goodness my brother and his wife continue the celebratory fashion.

Anyway, unlike last year---feeling numb and surreal----this year felt different. It was as if a light bulb went off in my head and the realization of "nothing will ever feel the same as before" forged through my head.

It was certainly fun to see Amira's jubilation and feel her energetic gusto towards seeing everything and opening everything, but it just didn't feel the same.

I realize I'm still in the throws of processing these emotions. I realize I have the power to make the celebration happen anyway I wish, but for the moment I'm just mourning the loss of what "always had been". I miss my mom so much, and don't talk about it much because I don't wish to put that on Amira, and since she's with me nearly 24 hours a day, 7 days a week I don't get an opportunity to express these feelings much. I would be fooling myself as well if I thought the loss didn't haunt her at times as well, for as we were going to bed Christmas night she said to me in a saddened low tone, "when can we see Grandma---I miss her". I asked her if that's where she wanted to go in her dreams was to see Grandma, she said that she'd like for both us too. Thank goodness the lights were out because I didn't want her to see my tears.

Thanks for allowing me to process in writing what I can’t at times verbalize.

Catch Up

2009-12-03T06:29:00.000-08:00

Wow, the last part of this year seems to be going real quick. Either that or I'm really slacking.

Halloween weekend (see how fast time goes----it's already December..lol) my dad, Amira and I took a rode trip to Los Angeles to see my grandmother. My grandmother (my mom's mom) turned 87 years old this year and is incredibly young for her age. She had just recently had eye surgery so we were going down to check on her as well as visit with my aunt who was visiting from Kansas.

For us adults it was a great visit because we were able to spend time together talking, laughing and catching up. For Amira, I'm sure, it was boring. However, being the trooper she is she never complained the whole time. Even though she didn't verbally complain, you can tell from her photos she took of herself sitting on Grandma's couch that she was "thrilled". lol

Our family is funny---during road trips part of our voyage is to stop at places we've deemed "famous"----places that have great food and even fonder memories. On this journey we discovered that a restaurant that went out of business years ago recently reopened in our old neighborhood in Los Angeles. It's called Bob's Big Boy. Although Bob's has great burgers what makes it so special is it's a place my mom and dad use to hang out with their friends when they were younger, and a place they introduced my brother and I too. And since then, my brother and I have been able to pass on the tradition to our kids. It was Amira's first visit and although it was just a burger to her, it was a "cool" place to go with mom and grandpa.

Family Visit

2009-11-22T10:05:00.000-08:00

In October my aunt, her husband and one of my cousins came for a visit, which is always a wonderful occasion. During their visit we took a boat trip over to San Francisco and spent the day meandering through the streets. The following are some pictures from our venture.

Lesson in Economics

2009-11-08T19:28:00.000-08:00

Well Amira had her first lesson in economics today. Today I asked her if she wanted to go to the mall and look around as we had been home all weekend long. She thought it would be fun to go look around. I told her there was a Hello Kitty store and her eyes lit up. I told her that she could bring some of her money if she wanted as she may find something she wanted to buy.

So, off to Hello Kitty we went. We spent about 45 minutes to an hour meandering through the entire store which incidentally isn't very large but packed with lots of stuff. She looked, touched and ewwwed over everything she could reach in the store. I just patiently followed her around and watched as she shopped. She finally made a decision on something she wanted. I told her the price of the toy and she said, "ok". Of course, I realize she knows numbers and what currency is because that's what they are learning in school; however, I also knew they hadn't actually learned the lesson that goes along with spending and earning money in reality so thought today was as good as any to learn.

We walked up to the cashier and she placed her item on the counter. The lady rang it up and told her it was $15.23. Amira reached into her Tinker Bell purse and pulled out her Tinker Bell money wallet. I told her it meant she had to give the lady the three $5s in her wallet which she pulled out. I told her then she needed to give her three pennies and two dimes. Her face was starting to droop a little. We gave the lady the money and she quickly handed us the receipt and told us to have a nice day. Obviously, this young girl didn't understand that this was Amira's first real purchase so it wasn't important to make it a big deal----or treat it like any other transaction. Anyway, she handed Amira her bag and Amira took it sadly looking down. As we walked slowly away I asked her what was wrong, and she said "I don't like this Hello Kitty". I asked why she didn't and she said, "because now I don't have my $5s anymore". I told her we could take the toy back and get her money back if she wanted too, and she said, "no".

It broke my heart to see her sad, but with a passing of a couple of hours since that purchase Hello Kitty is snug as a bug in a rug in our home and feeling very loved. :-)

One Flaw In Women

2009-11-04T07:44:00.000-08:00

Women have strengths that amaze men...
They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in..
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Profound Reminder

2009-10-23T06:54:00.000-07:00

I received this from a friend and thought I'd pass it along.

Technical Frustration

2009-10-11T07:30:00.000-07:00

To all you lovers of computers and processing applications, I implore your knowledge, wisdom and service.

I've created a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet survey and have emailed it to several people; however, not all have Excel available for opening the said application.

So, my question is this ----does anyone know how to convert an Excel file to a fillable PDF (for free---most sights require fee)? Or to save an Excel file so that anyone can open it as an attachment without actually having Excel as one of their program files, and still be able to fill out the form?

Someone suggested exporting it into a PDF, but when I opened Microsoft Excel I was unable to find anything that would allow me to export it.

I was able to "save as" a webpage, however, from what I can tell it's not a fillable form in this format.

I'm just trying to figure out a way to get this survey to a mass of people without inconvenience them in anyway to fill it out and return it.

Any assistance would be greatly appreciate.

Is Religion the Answer?

2009-10-07T06:23:00.000-07:00

We have been so busy this last month and October is looking about the same, but alhamdullilah it's all good.

I read something interesting the other day and thought I'd share. It's rather lengthy just so you have fair warning. ;-)

Is Religion the Answer?

Religion is both the savior and bane of mankind. How many millions have been comforted by organized religion over the ages, and how many millions have been killed, tortured, raped and plundered over these same ages? How many religions have not been persecuted? The answer is none. All religions have been persecuted at some point in their histories, and that continues to this day. In the modern "civilization," we still have not learned to love and tolerate one another. We have all the problems of economy, racism, ethnic purging, discrimination, hunger, poverty, politics, power, greed, terrorism, and on and one....seemingly endless it goes. Isn't this world wonderful? No wonder we're all depressed and tired--we hear about and experience these problems every day. It has got to stop, or the generations that follow us will have nothing.

We must start with organized religion, for it's both part of the problem and the key to the salvation of the world. The major religions of the world have got to band together and not only preach but practice religious tolerance.

Islam, the fastest-growing religion in the world today, has got to go back to its roots of religious tolerance (it is one of the most tolerant of religions) and oust the extremists who practice terrorism in the name of holy Jihad (holy war) on the "infidels" of other religions or countries. Most of the message from Mohammed was Christlike, teaching love and tolerance for others...his teachings have been warped by extremists and conservative clerics who lust for power and greed at any cost of human life. Most Muslims are very devout and loving people who treat others with respect and kindness; but extremists are grabbing the headlines and perpetuating their wars against Israel, India, Europe and the United States by playing on the emotions of the followers of Islam in their self-proclaimed "holy war".

Peace will never be obtained through terrorism, for it is the method of despicable evil. Peace can only be obtained through tolerance and negotiation in which both sides bend and compromise. Gone is the day when military might could conquer and bring a forced peace---the world might not sand for any country conquering and taking over another (the United States included). Yew, we still have places such as Iraq and Afghanistan that were subdued by military might, but he outrage of the world was heard, and these countries are being given back to the people that inhabit them. The world of Islam must go back to its messenger and practice what he brought forth in love and tolerance to climb that mountain of self.

Christianity also has some major problems that it must face. The Catholic Church has many internal problems that hurt others, and it's on the wane because it's slow to change and make compromises. It has lost the respect of many for its many internal scandals and failure to acknowledge its mistakes both in the past and present. It has trapped itself in its own unbendable traditions and become stagnant, and certainly makes less of an impact on the world today. It must make wholesale changes or it will go down, as so many inflexible dynasties have, and not the powerful voice it once was.

The Protestant movement is also becoming more inflexible and conservative, with its right-wing politics creating myriad problems in the forms of bigotry, intolerance, and its propensity to try to gain power in the political arena. What's the old adage--religion and politics don't mix well? Christianity is one of the least tolerant toward other religions, which makes the task of bonding with other worldwide religions, in order to accomplish an overall good for the world, seem near to impossible, but it must be done.

Christianity today has become warped in many areas, namely that of preaching and practicing the worship of an all-loving and merciful God. Many churches concentrate more on the "hellfire and brimstone" approach to the battling evil, invoking the fear of God and His wrath on those who "sin" or constantly using the Bible to rule their congregations by fear. It seems like a complete contradiction to me, as Christ always preached about an all-loving and merciful God. Some of these so-called Christian churches use the Bible so much that they ought to be named "Bible worshipers" instead of "worshipers of Christ."

If Christ was to come down to the world today, I doubt he'd proclaim himself a Christian. Christianity need to practice more religious tolerance, get out of the political arena, and really put forth the concept of an all-loving and merciful God--rather than a wrathful, vengeful God Who has all the imperfect emotions of mankind. In order for Christianity to take its place in saving this world, they have got to leave their hidden agendas of politics and getting wealth behind and put forth the agenda of Christ. They have got to climb that mountain of ego that has been built up with their wealth and power and get down to helping others in the way that Christ would have wanted....no matter what their ethnic, racial, religious, or sexual background may be.

If you want people to be part of your religion, do it with the truth and love of God, not with your own self-righteous agendas. Concentrate more on the joy, truth, and love of God, not your own human-made truth.....for you should at least be able to recognize that you may be wrong. Christianity has always been ruled by fear and money: the fear of being wrong and the money to build more churches (to get even more money). Its bloody history and its intolerance toward other faiths and beliefs proves this to be true. The Christian motto seems to be: If you're threatened in your faith, for God's sake don't tolerate the right of others to believe otherwise. Instead, just destroy them, whether it be from the pulpit, in the political arena, with propaganda, or the sword.

I know I'm on a soapbox, and I know I'm being tough and harsh in my criticism of some of these major religions, but damn it, someone has got to speak up. The religions of this world have to band together to help the planet, not tear it apart and asunder with their own agendas. I know that there are millions out there who aren't being helped by the faith they're now following, and I know that there are millions out there who have left their faith because it didn't give them the truth and comfort they were seeking. It's such a tragedy that the major religions of this world have messed up the simple act of worshiping God. God created us all in our many different colors and ethnic backgrounds, and He even sent messengers to help us find the way to His all-loving, merciful, and perfect Self. We turn around and disregard or warp all that and make war and commit atrocities on each other. It is the tragedy of tragedies. ---Author Anonymous

Modeling Show

2009-09-19T13:34:00.000-07:00

Last Friday night Amira and I were invited to a Modeling Show for a new Salon/Med Spa that was celebrating their 1 year anniversary in a nearby town. One of our friends, Morgan, was asked to be one of the models due to her modeling experience.

It was an interesting evening of events. They served some nice light foods along with wine. Upon request, we found out they weren't serving any other drinks but wine, so Amira and I were a little stuck just sucking the juice from the fresh fruit we were eating.....lol, until we found water in the back of the facility.

Our friend did a great job and had a lot of fun in the process----attaching pictures of the event.

They wove a black piece of ribbon into her hair to add affect to her mohawk look...like it needed more affect....lol I was a cool looking hairdo---Morgan wanted to keep it forever..lol

That's really her mane.

The orange in her hair is really her hair, but the netting on the other side was added for the show. (I don't think I'll ever understand fashion, but it was sure fun being an observer.)
The baby wasn't part of the fashion show---however was dressed up fashionably anyway. :-)

Inner Peace

2009-09-08T06:27:00.000-07:00

Inner Peace

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can get going without pep pills,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs, ...Then You Are Probably

The Family Dog!

Day at Sea

2009-09-01T18:47:00.000-07:00

Sunday Amira, my dad and I went to the bay area as one of his friends recently purchased a 48 foot boat. They were having a little celebration and we were invited to partake. We had such a great day. Truly, I could get use to that kind of lifestyle-----relaxing and cruising on the water.

Whole Lot Of Nuttin' Honey

2009-08-26T06:38:00.000-07:00

For the most part Amira and I have had an awesome summer. We've done tons of swimming which has been fantastic.

About 6 weeks ago or so Amira was diagnosed with a double ear infection, from a viral infection gone bacterial infection, and had to have some antibotics to clear it up. So this put us out of swimming commission for a bit, understandably.

Then just as she cleared up, I got whatever she had and was out for 3 weeks. Lost my hearing, sense of smell and taste. It was the strangest feeling. On one hand you feel fine and yet on the other hand 3 of your 5 major senses aren't working and you feel worn out. Bummer! So, I had to do antibotics as well..........grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

So when last weekend rolled around it was if it were the first day of summer all over again, we spent the weekend swimming. Awwwwwwww, now that's they way life should be. :-)

Hair Cut & First Grade

2009-08-17T16:47:00.001-07:00

Well summer has officially come to an end as Amira's school started back in session.

She asked me to cut her hair because she didn't like having the tangles combed out every morning and thought the shorter hair would prevent that......for the most part it has. :-)

Today was the first day back to school and Amira was thrilled to be going back to learn new jobs. She told me her goal was to do the harder jobs first so she could finish with the easier ones. Pretty smart thinking!

New backpack
Trying out her new "wink"
Funny Face
As a result of spending too much time with Grandpa gopher

hunting---Amira makes this gopher face....lol

Latest Read

2009-08-08T10:44:00.000-07:00

Well have been trying to gather information to begin the preparation of my master's thesis and along the researching trail I came across a book at the library that caught my eye. The title alone is a little catchy.....lol

Anyway, at first I wasn't sure I wanted to partake in reading such a book, but there was a part of me that really wanted to see what it was all about, so the reading began.

Admittedly, I laughed at the obvious ridiculousness of the behavior of women and yet sadly saw some similar traits in myself. Grrrrrrrrrrr, hate when that happens! Nonetheless, I thought it was a great book.......it confirmed growth I had made as well as reminders of how I should perceive things in any potential relationship. Moreover, I think this is a must read for women. Even though it might be painful or make you mad to read it, it is essential for making better choices for one’s self rather than continuing to live delusionally.

This is not a “man bashing” book but rather a “woman taking accountability” book. We as women do not have the right to continue bashing men and blaming them for the things we knowingly accept as their bad behavior. We cannot love them one minute, then turn around and complain how awful they are because we no longer accept their behavior as such. Quite honestly, I think we as women tend to think more along the lines of “what if” rather than “what is” and therefore wake up one day feeling some how empty. We tend to think “if only this or that happened” we would be fulfilled and complete, which certainly puts a lot of responsibility on someone other than ourselves to make that happen with that type of thinking. Specifically thinking, when it comes to finding a life partner, we as women need to remember we are part of the selection process too. We are responsible for choosing our life partner just as he was selective in his choice. I think often times this gets over looked by the woman, and she believes she can only be selected. If more women put effort into selecting their partner as men did there would probably be more of a balance in partnerships rather than women just waiting to be picked.

Would love to know your thoughts on this……….. Perhaps a nice dialogue between the two genders would make for an interesting discussion

2009-08-04T07:56:00.001-07:00

Honest Scrap About Me!!

This is really cute. I was tagged by Sparkling Motivation, so thought I'd see what I could come up with regarding 'honest scrap about me'. I hope I got it right, so here goes....

1) I'm the oldest child, but #2 in the lineage of cousins.

2) I was a very open, friendly, and even a bit of a wild one when I was younger. I was never afraid of anyone or anything. Was never afraid to speak my mind even if it went against the masses......guess I still do that to some degree. I use to trust everyone. However, with time and bruises earned along the way I've become much more reserved, shy and quiet.

3)I've travelled a bit around the globe and have enjoyed every adventure (hope for more)!

4)I have ears like a dog----very sensitive to sound. I tend to speak in a quiet voice and like quiet sounds. Agree with Sparkling Motivation on the sounds of girls loud voices...ugh!

5)I started riding horses when I was 3 years old.

6)I helped build (construct) two houses in my lifetime. I'd prefer not to do that again.

7)I cry easily......if the moment moves me.

8)I've been parasailing in Hawaii----considering I'm deathly afraid of heights, this was a big achievement. lol

9)I could spend hours by the ocean doing nothing but feeling, somehow, larger than life next to that incredible body of water.

10)Two years ago I leg pressed 600 lbs of weight. lol

I'm sure this is JUST the mindless dribble you were looking for, huh? :D

Your turn!

More Birthday Pics

2009-07-26T11:14:00.000-07:00

Whew! Finally up and running again-----pc had a little down-time. The following are pictures from Amira's birthday party which continued until the next day.....lol

Amira and Angela

Amira and Grandpa

Everyone should wear their swimming goggles to blow out their candles...lol

Selflessly giving Ryan a foot massage....:-)

CHEESEEEEEE!

Independence Day!

2009-07-05T07:44:00.000-07:00

To most of the U.S., yesterday was a celebration of our country's independence, but to Amira and I it's even more special........it was Amira's birthday! So forevermore the entire country will celebrate her birthday with fireworks.....lol

She had a fun birthday filled with swimming, pizza, watermelon, mint-lemonade, presents and sugar-free pineapple upside down cake.

Since the 4th of July is a difficult day to gather people together as usually they are spending the time camping or with their own 4th of July activities, we have opted this year to split her birthday celebration into two days. Today, we'll be going to the swimming pool and having some splashing fun with some of her friends.

I just love kids and the things they say. Yesterday we were getting ready to go swimming and Amira wanted to put on her new skirt she got from a friend. The skirt was a little big for her so I suggested she wear one of her skirts she already has in her drawer. She went and picked out her pink shirt and as she was getting ready to put it on, she looked at me and said, "I don't know if it's going to fit because this is a 5 year old shirt and I'm 6.......it might be too small".

Having a day

2009-07-02T07:47:00.001-07:00

One never knows what to expect during commute time in Los Angeles.

Kitchen Advice

2009-07-01T06:28:00.000-07:00

Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway!

To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.

When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

Go to the bakery! Hell, they'll even decorate it for you!

If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant 'fix-me-up.'

If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: 'I made it, you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!'

Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

Celery? Never heard of it!

Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don't

Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! All your pains go away!

If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish washing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Leftover wine??????????? HELLO!!!!!!!

Reap what you sow

2009-06-29T07:35:00.000-07:00

Amira and I planted a small garden for the first time this year and she's been enjoying eating the fruits of our labor.

Mint

Sweet basil Strawberry

Roma Tomato

Graduation Day!

2009-06-18T06:58:00.000-07:00

What a fun experience to watch. I don't ever recall attending a graduation for kindergartens so was excited at the opportunity.

There were three graduating classes and each class sang a song or recited a poem or both. It was great fun to see all their expressions.

Of course this is probably more for the parents and adults than the kids because all Amira has said to me is, "now when can I start first grade?"

An art show followed the graduation ceremony. The kids picked their favorite pieces of art work they created during the school year for displaying.

Last days of school

2009-06-14T08:54:00.000-07:00

During the last week of school there were a number of silly days that kids could participate in sunch as wear your pajamas to school day, hawaiian shirt day, or wear something crazy day. Amira decided she wanted to wear something crazy to school on the second to last day.....pic below.

Root Beer Float Day

2009-06-08T20:21:00.000-07:00

As the school year winds down, the kids are spending their last few days doing fun activities. Today, they walked to a nearby park to have their lunch and then they made root beer floats for dad's to honor them for Father's Day. Father's Day isn't for another couple of weeks but since school would be out by then, they wanted to make sure dads were recognized. In addition to dads being invited, so were uncles, grandfathers and other father-figures (for those children who do not have a dad).

My dad was able to go and said he and Amira had a really fun time.

Hard to believe in two days she'll be graduating from kindergarten.

Neither Blonde Nor Female

2009-05-29T06:52:00.000-07:00

These contractors are installing the steel pillars in concrete to stop vehicles from parking on the pavement outside a Sports Bar downtown. They are now in the process of cleaning up at the end of the day and anxious to go home.

How long do you think it will be before they realize where they parked?

Days of Sunshine

2009-05-26T06:36:00.000-07:00

Memorial Day weekend was very nice, quiet and relaxing. Spent Saturday doing errands and then the evening at my dad's with the family. Played a little baseball after dinner.

Sunday and Monday Amira and I spent time at an aquatic center not too far from our home. Packed a picnic, towels and sunscreen and we were all set. Had a great time. Something very relaxing and calming about water.

Only two and a half weeks left of school and then graduation for Amira.

Talented Gymnist

2009-05-23T06:56:00.000-07:00

Sand Art

2009-05-15T06:44:00.000-07:00

Barbie cakes

2009-05-08T19:06:00.000-07:00

While perusing the blogsphere this morning I came across Shahrazad's blog and she was sharing photos of a lovely bakery in Libya. The photos made my mouth water for sure.

She shared one cake of a Barbie for Amira. I'm including it in this post because it's beautiful. I'm also attaching two pictures of the cake I did for Amira's her 3rd birthday. I had made the cake (sugarfree) and purchased the doll (picked the doll because it looked like Amira with brown curly hair and blue eyes......lol) for the cake, but my friend, Mindy, gets the credit for the decoration and final touches.

Bakery in Tripoli

Amira's 3rd year birthday cake

Mindset

2009-04-29T07:10:00.000-07:00

It reads as follows:

As my friend was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a rope tied to their legs. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from the ropes they were tied to but for some reason, they did not. My friend saw a trainer nearby and asked why these beautiful, magnificient animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.

"Well", he said, "when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and at that age, it's enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free." My friend was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn't, they were stuck right where they were. The powerful and gigantic creature has limited its present abilities by the limitations of its past.

Life the elephants, how many of us go through life holding onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before? How many of us refuse to attempt something new and challenging because of our so called MINDSET?

Your attempt may fail, but never fail to make an attempt...........

CHOOSE not to accept the false boundaries and limitations created by the past..

Think before you speak

2009-04-22T06:15:00.000-07:00

Had an interesting interesting conversation/topic come up recently. One that most would like to perhaps avoid or a best critize severely without really thinking about the situation before responding. Teen pregnancy!

What would you do if you found out that a teen age family member was 8 1/2 months pregnant and until that very moment you had absolutely no idea? I'm not talking about a family member that you don't see on a regular basis. No, I'm talking about a family member that lives under your own roof or a family member that you see very regularly.

There are no outward appearances of any physical change, no mood changes, no eating changes, no sleeping changes, or no changes with academic achievements. And suddenly one family member is the "lucky" family member to learn of this impending birth with very little time to react let alone perhaps make a rational decision on what to do as they are still in shock from the sudden announcement.

If you were presented with such a situation.....for the sake of conversation just hypothetically imagine.......how would you respond? What would be the option(s) (i.e., get the teen to the doctors, tell other family members, keep the child, adopt the child out, etc.)? Keeping in mind that eventhough you are perhaps realing from the sudden shock of the news, there's a teen that has been feeling terrified the entire pregnancy by keeping her silence.

Monkeying Around

2009-04-19T08:54:00.000-07:00

During spring break we spent a number of days at the park when the weather was good. Amira's goal was to cross the monkey bars on her own, and she accomplished it. :-) She couldn't wait to return to school to show her friends how she mastered them.

Happy Easter

2009-04-12T09:23:00.000-07:00

glitter-graphics.com

Happy Easter Friends!!!

Click on the following words

Happy Easter!

Rainy Day Blues

2009-04-10T06:50:00.000-07:00

Ugh! Along with the blooming of flowers, the blossoming of new leaves, and the lusteriest green grass all around which represent signs of spring. Scattered showers also represent spring as well. With the days filled with sunshine and the wondrous beauty that surrounds us, I find myself luminous and light. With the days filled with scattered rain, gray skies, I find myself sullen and melancholy.

It is of the later that I find myself the last couple of days, and I dislike how this makes me feel. I acknowledge there are so many things in my life that are a blessing. Moreover, I acknowledge that Amira and I are blessed beyond words. However, there’s that humanistic part of ourselves that even though we realize and acknowledge all of our blessings, we still, at times, long for something else.

For me, it’s a missing of a once great relationship. I’ve not wanted to post about this as it seemed too painful at the time to even put my feelings into words, but perhaps actually putting the words in writing I can finally once and for all move forward in my life.

Three weeks after my mom’s funeral my two best friends of 8 years decided to essentially vanish from my life. They have their reasons but to me I do not understand them. My one friend, Mindy, merely sent an email essentially saying she didn’t know how to be my friend anymore. My other friend, Vicky, slowly withdrew without a trace. It took me longer to figure out Vicky no longer wanted to be my friend because although she’d respond to my text messages she wouldn’t take my calls or accept any of my offers to do anything. Being a little slow and now feeling foolish for continuing to ask someone to spend time with me made me feel like a real ass when I realized she was no longer desiring to be my friend either.

I wish I knew the reason why they’ve decided to no longer be my friend. Although I’m not certain it would really matter-----would it? The end result is they no longer desire to have me in their lives.

I struggle with my feelings over them because I loved these two women dearly and never imagined my life without them. There were times when I’d imagine Mindy and I sitting on a porch somewhere as two old women laughing and talking over our lives journey. How we survived parenthood. How we probably out lived our husbands. How we were grateful to have one another all these years.

I’ve inquired as to what happened in our friendship to cause it to go array and have not received a response from either one of them, so realize I’ll probably never know and should just move forward with my own life as they have. But the pain from the loss is still real, and at times like these damn gray rainy days very prominent on my mind.

Spring is in the Air

2009-04-04T07:31:00.000-07:00

Spring is definitely in the air i.e., trees blooming new leaves, flowers blossoming, staying lighter later, the uncertainty of weather (one minute cold and the next moment hot), the wind kicking up people’s allergies and the smell of BBQs to name a few.

Last weekend my dad returned from Arizona----YIPPIE! Thankfully he came home to great weather otherwise I’m sure he would have turned around and headed back to Arizona for a few more weeks. Although the good weather could have been a little trick, as it’s known to still rain and be cold through April and some of May, we’ll see. Anyway, he made it home safe and sound and is happy to be in his own bed after so long.

What a welcoming home though for dad as that very weekend I had bought a new bed for Amira and needed propane for my BBQ, and dad was right there to help. I’m sure he had no idea he was going to be delivery guy. We used his truck to get Amira’s new bed and he and I got it all set up in her room, then at the same time my brother’s neighbor’s niece was having a baby any moment and was in desperate need of baby things so I gave them Amira’s crib which was essentially brand new as she sleeps with me and two car seats. So we loaded dad’s truck up with that stuff and off he went to the next stop.

The next day we fired up the BBQ and I made Amira hamburgers for dinner. She set the table we have outside with our plates, napkins, drinks and condiments for the hamburgers along with fresh tomatoes. She was so thrilled for the hamburgers that she ended up eating nearly two whole burgers herself. I swear I don’t know where she puts that food, but her eating is always a topic for conversation. It seems from what people share that kids can be picky eaters or at best not eat much at all. The parents are always complaining their kids never eat and certainly not vegetables, so when Amira comes along and eats whatever is presented to her it’s as if she’s breaking some non-eating kids record.

Today we will be planting our very small garden, which we are both thrilled about. We are planting tomatoes, strawberries, sweet basil and peppermint. I’ve never personally planted a garden so am thrilled to see what happens. I remember as a kid we had a garden and thought it was thrilling. Although from my parents point of view years later, it was a lot of work. Should the results of our labor produce anything we’ll be sure and share photos.

One of my friends/former co-workers is going through a rough time. She’s the one I may have shared is 20 years old and lost her mom recently. A couple of weeks after losing her mom she was able to return to work, but to only be dismissed from her position after a few days. I’m not certain of the details nor does it matter, but nonetheless I’m feeling for this girl because right now she’s in the place where everything that seems to go wrong will go wrong. So for a good excuse to keep with the use of the BBQ I invited her and a few other co-workers to come for a BBQ.

Need for Vacation

2009-03-26T06:39:00.000-07:00

Amira and I returned safely from a whirlwind weekend to Arizona. It was so wonderful to see my dad after all this time. Moreover, it was so heartwarming to see Amira run to Grandpa in the airport to hug him.

We were greeted at the airport by my dad and two of my cousins and from their the entertainment began.

What I find most fascinating about family gatherings is the mixture of personalities that would not in any other situation mix or mingle together. Moreover, in any other situation these personalities would never get along. However, for the sake of I suppose nothing else but the mere "family bond" do these personalities endure through the ages. Truly the are like fire and gasoline when gathered together and yet they all seem to somehow manage. It was rather interesting as a somewhat "outsider" as I'm not around it on a daily basis to see them interact. If for nothing else it was rather entertaining and overwhelming at the same time.

The core base of the family members, my aunt and her four now adult children, have very strong views and opinions which can conflict with one another at times. Then you mix in their respective spouses who feel it's their right by marriage to throw in their opinions of the family members and the games begin.

The part that intrigues me is the core base family members get along well. I suppose because they've known each other since early childhood and have learned to adapt, adjust and respect one another's opinions. For this core group at times can be at conflict with one another but if an outsider were to throw in their two cents on the conflict the core group would immediately re-group, bind together and take that outsider out.

The core group is very loving, supportive and helpful. They are genuinely good all around people that do their best to help their family, their community, etc.

Because of the loudness and some times brassness of my family, I'm always surprised to hear when one of them is getting married because my first thought is "have they met the core base family?" And if so, my next thought would be "what's wrong with them?" I know that sounds harsh and strange, but honestly I wonder why an outsider would want to join the force because no matter what, they will still be an outsider to a certain degree.

Aside from the madness of the mixed personalities we had a great time............lots of laughter and memorable moments.

Again, only having two real full days there we pretty much just hung out at my aunt's house visiting with everyone, but on Sunday we went as a group to a place called Rawhide which is like an old wild west town.

Here's some photos from our trip.

Outhouse used for the ATM.

Sign out my aunt's backyard.

Sign over the front door of one of my cousin's home.

Event and Memorable Moments

2009-03-18T06:21:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I was asked to work at a Middle Eastern Dance Festival called Rakkasah, which was quite an honor to be asked. My former dance teacher's daughter, Jamilla, is also a massage therapist as well as an esthetician in Beverly Hills, CA. She and her mom have been a part of the belly dance community forever both as performers and vendors, so when I was asked by Jamilla if I wanted to work with her performing massages I jumped on the opportunity. It was my first massage event which I was both thrilled and nervous about, but felt very secure in the fact that Jamilla was a pro at these types of things and knew I'd be in good hands. It's always nice when someone else has already foliaged through something working out all the kinks and ooops that come along with beginning something new. :-)

The event turned out to be very profitable for both of us along with being amazingly fun. Where else can one go to work, listen to great music, watch people, enjoy hundreds of performing dancers, and work all at the same time! I would certainly partner again with Jamilla anytime and anywhere she wanted as we just clicked so well together.

One of my friend's graciously offered to take care of Amira for me on Saturday and Sunday while I went to this event as my dad is still in Arizona. Although I've known my girlfriend for many many years Amira has only met her a couple of times, so I was concerned about how Amira would handle staying at someone else's house but trusted she would do well. My friend's daughter is about 7 years older than Amira and was thrilled Amira was coming for the weekend as she was really looking forward to taking care of her. :-)

Anyway, on Saturday evening I called my friend to say good night to Amira and to see how she was doing. My friend had shared she was doing great and they were all having a fun time, and then she put Amira on the phone. We talked briefly and she said she was having fun. It's funny, I don't talk to Amira on the phone much as there's no reason because she's always with me but on the rare occasions I've talked to her on the phone it sounds so weird to hear her voice. Anyway, every night before we go to sleep I ask Amira where she'd like to go in our dreams. I've done this for years, as my thinking was if the last thing she thought about before she went to sleep was of peaceful things then perhaps she'd have peaceful sleep. So anyway, when I asked her where she wanted to go Saturday night she said that she wanted to go to Butterfly Island (a place she says if filled with beautiful butterflies as well as beautiful flowers) to which I replied with a smile "ok baby, I'll see you there when I fall asleep" and she responded "ok---bye bye". After hanging up the phone although I was smiling at these precious words I also had a tear in my eye because it's these precious words and thoughts that are so memorable and meaningful. It's these moments that remind us that nothing else matters but the preciousness of your loved ones.

It was so wonderful to finally get Amira back in my arms and us home safely. And now we are off to another busy week. This Friday evening we fly out to Arizona to see my dad, aunt and cousins for a couple of days. We are thrilled. Then next week some time dad comes home----YIPPIE!!!!

Busy-ness

2009-03-07T07:46:00.000-08:00

Well Amira and I have had a couple of busy weeks with school, work and life in general. She recently had a science fair at her school which meant we had to come up with something for her project. I sooooooooooooooooooooo stink at science so was talking to one of my co-workers who shared her daughter made a volcano for an experiment, and thought we could do that! So, erupting volcano it was. I still want to record a little video of her doing the actual project, but until then here's some photos.

My neighbor lady who is 70 just had a severe fall outside her home recently and decapitated the ball joint in her right shoulder. Can you say, "OUCH!!!!!" Anyway, Amira and I have been helping her out and spending time with her. Just love this lady so much. She's feisty and classy all at the same time. She reminds me a lot of Audrey Hepburn..............interestingly enough her first name is Audrey. Go figure!

She's also asked me to work some massage on her, which of course I'd never deny her that request, and she actually feels there's some improvement. We can only hope and pray she doesn't have to have any surgery. We'll go to the doctor's on Monday for some updated x-rays to see her progress. Keep your fingers crossed.

This weekend is also going to be busy. Yesterday we have to go to a funeral for one of my other co-workers who lost her mom. The poor girl is only 20 years old and her mom was only 46. Was not actually looking forward to going (who actually is ever happy to go to a funeral.....lol), but knew how important it was that she receive as much love and support as possible. The service was very nice and many people spoke of this woman I had never met and shared snipets of her life from their experiences with her, which were very heartfelt. May God rest her soul and now begin healing this family as they learn to live their lives differently, inshallah.

Then today I have two clients coming to my home for massages which I'm looking forward too as well.

Some where in between all this maddness we need to do laundry for Amira's class. :-) Not worried as somehow these things always get done and worked out.

Tell me what you're doing this weekend.

Up and coming Artist

2009-02-26T05:32:00.001-08:00

Almost two weeks ago Amira had a three day weekend from school, so we were going to take a little road trip and get out of town for a couple of days but due to the terrible weather we ended up staying home. I was a bit disappointed because we haven't gone anywhere in quite some time and was really looking forward to the change of scenery if just for a couple of days. However, be that as it may, we were cooped up indoors for a couple of days and on the third day I had had it-----terrible weather or not we were going out and doing something.

So pondering over the things we could do on the budget we had and the dreary rainy weather we were facing, we decided to check out this place called Petroglyph Ceramic Lounge. We had such a wonderful time. It was the perfect way to spend a number of hours out of the stormy weather and not starring at your own same four walls. :-)

Here are our creations.

Happy Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T07:35:00.000-08:00

What can one say about Valentine's Day? I suppose that would really depend on your status. For if you are in a relationship it represents celebrating your love and devotion to one another. On the other hand if you are single it's yet another huge reminder that you are alone. I guess in some ways that creates balance. There are those that are overjoyed with elation from this glorious feeling of love and there are those that are overwhelmed with the deflation of feeling alone. lol

Well this year I was blessed with some unexpected love on Valentine's Day and thought I'd share.

The first was from my dear friend, MixedUpMe.

The second was from Amira and her teachers.

That time of year again

2009-02-10T06:41:00.000-08:00

Well it's that time of year again. It seems Amira gets a little something once a year and it's either February or March and it happened to be February this year.

She's had this little cough for a week now with no other symptons and then Saturday came on with a fever which caused her to sleep restless most of the night. Yesterday I decided to keep her from school and take her to the doctor's which she did not want to do after her last "wellness" check-up. "Wellness" check-up my butt that baby got a good clean bill of health along with 5 immunization shots for being so healthy.................blah!

Anyway when she woke up yesterday morning and I told her she wasn't going to school that day becauase we needed to go to the doctor's to get her better she started crying. I knew immediately why she got those tears and assured her that the doctor would not be giving her a shot---the tears immediately stopped and she agreed to go. LOL Again I don't blame her I would have been crying to....thinking to myself "are you kidding the last time I went to the doctor's I came out with more pain than what I went in with which was NOTHING".

So, off to the doctor's we go. I'm thinking it's probably just another inflammed ear due to the large amounts of snot these little ones produce with inadequate passages to keep up with the flow, but no not this time. She's diagnosed with walking pnemonia....................YIKES!

Needless to say I was glad we went to the doctors and yet felt so bad to hear the news. I've been so blessed that Amira has been so healthy, so when something isn't right, which is very hard to tell with her because she seems the same no matter what, it can't help but make you question your parenting skills. Like somehow I should have known before it got to this point. Blah! Oh well I suppose we could always doubt and question ourselves and not sure that solves anything aside from giving our egos an opportunity to revel in the moment.

We picked up her perscription yesterday and she only has 4 more days of taking it so hopefully she'll recover quickly. She already had a good night's sleep last night which was an improvement from the previous days, so yippie, alhamdullilah.

The Black Bra

2009-02-06T06:44:00.000-08:00

As sadly told by a wife.........

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and of course I have been married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by wearing a black leather bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes. Here's how it all went.

My engaged friend: The other night my boyfriend came over and found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you. Then we made out all night long.

The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels and mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we were wild all night.

Then I had to share my story: When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, "What's for dinner, Batman?"

Out to the movies

2009-02-02T19:50:00.000-08:00

Yesterday afternoon Amira and I went to the movies to see Paul Blart - Mall Cop.

Let me just say if I didn't already love Kevin James prior to this movie, I adore him even more now.

We laughed so hard. In fact, Amira was laughing so hard that she was out laughing everyone in the theater, which made it even funnier.

Men vs. Women At The ATM

2009-01-27T07:07:00.000-08:00

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive- through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

MALE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9 Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off..
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

Random Blathering

2009-01-23T05:54:00.000-08:00

Well, the New Year in my little world has started off as most New Year's, relatively slow and uneventful, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Probably the most significant event that has happened so far is my dad leaving for Arizona 3 weeks ago for a 3-month hiatus. Although the day before his departure he and I spent the entire day together with bouts of tears on and off because we were going to miss each other dearly, yet we both knew this was going to be a good thing.

I can't imagine how he felt pulling out of his driveway for the first road trip without my mom. There is going to be so many "firsts" and each one will have to be dealt with as it comes.

There have been a few moments along his journey (which consisted of side trips along the way) where he shared he couldn't wait to get to our families in Phoenix because he just had too much alone time. So thankfully he's made it to Phoenix where our family has welcomed gratefully.

Amira received her first report card and is doing well which is wonderful to know since whenever I ask her what she did or learned in school on any particular day her answer is always the same, "nothing". LOL

However, just the other day she shared something she learned and I had to leave the room to laugh. She came home on Tuesday and told me, "guess what mommy. We learned about Barack Obama today." I said, "you did!" She said, "uh huh, I have a picture of him in my backpack and I'll show it to you when we get home." I said, "did you learn that he became our president today?" She confirmed that they had. Beaming with pride at learning she's actually learned something and sharing it with me I couldn't wait to get home and see her project.

In the door we go, and immediately preparing dinner, she tells me she's going to get her picture of Barack Obama to show me. I eagerly await this picture. When what does she appear with?……………..a picture of Martin Luther King, Jr.

Ok, I suppose in fairness I should give a slight break, since Monday was the celebration of Martin Luther King Day with no school and then the inauguration of Barack Obama was Tuesday, the first day back to school. So I am assuming they learned about both events at the same time. Because when we turned the TV on later that evening she got excited and started pointing at the TV, "see mommy, there's Barack Obama......we heard him talk today in school." I asked if she knew what he was talking about and she declared, "no, not really I'm just a kid and he talked grown-up stuff".

I was not able to watch President Obama's speech due to work, but was able to read it on “On The Edge's” blog and was so grateful to be able to read it. I'm not into all the hoopla that goes along with such events, but really wanted to know what he had to say, so thank you On the Edge for posting it.

Funny, huh? I had to go to Libya, so to speak, to hear what my new President had to say............lol

Certainly President Obama has a lot of things to handle and I admire his willingness to tackle such a pile of.............

It was interesting here, again in my own little world, how people reacted the day he was announced the next president of the United States. On Election Day there was such an unnerving feeling of quietness all around the town. My work was nearly nonexistent that day, traffic on the roadway was sparse, and an overall feeling of heaviness lingered in the air. The very next day when the news reported Barack Obama had been voted our next president there was a buzz in the air. A feeling of freedom. A feeling of almost a collective exhale. I'll remember that day always because that was my busiest workday. It was as if the floodgates had opened or something. There was this high electric buzz in the air that you couldn't help but feel. Really I find this interesting. Moreover, another reminder that one never knows what a day can bring.

Blessings to all.

Maxine

2009-01-15T07:05:00.000-08:00

Where would we be without Maxine's wisdom?.......lol

Breaks? Good or Bad

2009-01-10T07:24:00.000-08:00

One may ponder the affects of taking a break from school or work as either good or bad. I would have to say the pictures below pretty much sum up Amira and I's first week back into a regular routine after she's been out of school for two weeks for "winter break".

The Piano

2009-01-08T06:38:00.000-08:00

When the house lights dimmed and the concert was about to begin.....a mother returned to her seat and discovered that her child was missing.

Suddenly, the curtains parted and spotlights focused on the impressive Steinway on stage.

To her horror, the mother saw her little boy sitting at the keyboard innocently picking out "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."

At that moment, the great piano master made his entrance, quickly moved to the piano, and whispered in the boy's ear, "Don't quit.....keep playing."

Then, leaning over, Paderewski reached down with his left hand and began filling in a bass part. Soon his right arm reached around to the other side of the child, and he added a running obbligato.

Together, the old master and the young novice transformed what could have been a frightening situation into a wonderfully creative experience.

The audience was so mesmerized that they couldn't recall what else the great master played. Only the classic, "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."

Perhaps that's the way it is with God.

What we can accomplish on our own is hardly noteworthy.

We try our best, but the results aren't always graceful flowing music. However, with the hand of the Master, our life's work can truly be beautiful.

The next time you set out to accomplish great feats, listen carefully. You may hear the voice of the Master, whispering in your ear, "Don't quit........Keep playing."

May you feel His arms around you and know that His hands are there, helping you turn your feeble attempts into true masterpieces.

Remember, God doesn't seem to call the equipped, rather, He equips the 'called'.

Life is more accurately measured by the lives you touch than by the things you acquire. So find a way to reach out and touch someone.

Looking back

2008-12-30T07:14:00.000-08:00

What can one say about the year 2008 aside from it being a definite year of new beginnings! And with new beginnings, they can be quite tumultuous as well as thrilling.

The year started with both my work and income being cut in half due to the financial market, yet with sudden opportunities to explore a multitude of options for a new career that would be both rewarding and satisfying. So in January I began attending an accelerated course in massage therapy while maintaining my remaining paralegal accounts. This was both challenging as well as exciting as I had not been in a classroom setting in forever.

Amira was still attending pre-school but her days had turned to full-time. She was advancing educationally as well as coming out of her shell a little bit and really interacting with the other kids. She had actually become a team-leader of sorts when it came to clean up time----or maybe to the other children she was a task-master because she made sure everything was put away neat and tidy as the teachers had requested.

At then end of February I graduated from massage school and was now out beating the streets to find work. I was hired to work at a day spa down the street from my house immediately which quickly I discovered was not conducive to my work habits, so opted to keep searching for the “right” fit. Thankfully I still had my paralegal accounts and was able to be more selective in my search for work. In late May I was hired with a massage clinic which focuses only on massage, which really boded well with me, and I’ve been there ever since. At the end of August I had finally made the decision to end my paralegal work to pursue massage full-time and have never regretted the decision. To some this may seem like a crazy choice or decision, however, for me personally I feel like I'm finally doing what I'm suppose to be doing......helping people heal. For it's not just physical healing, but it's emotional and spiritual healing as well, and what an honor to be in such a position.

In mid August, Amira’s application was submitted to the California Montessori Program for a lottery draw to attend kindergarten, and much to our excitement her name was drawn. The beauty of this program is it’s a private school education within the California public school system so there is no tuition for attendance, just parent participation throughout the school year. So, off to kindergarten Amira went and has been loving it everyday.

In mid September we experienced one of the greatest losses one can ever imagine; we lost my mom. Again with it being a year of new beginnings, this was yet another new beginning for our family. We now have to learn how to live without her physical presence with us everyday. For me she was my best friend, cheerleader, confidant, strength, and support system. Certainly to try and learn how to live without such an important role in your life is challenging at best. I miss the sound of her laughter, which was so infectious as well as her enthusiasm when she’d get really excited over something. However, I have no doubt she’s still around us, and continuing to cheer and support us from afar.

As we near the end of another year and reflect back, we realize there is so much to be thankful for. We have great family/friends, great health, and wonderful memories to last a lifetime. Now as we look forward may the seeds of new beginnings, which were planted and now sprouting, be nurtured with passion and an abundance of love throughout the New Year.

Christmas 2008

2008-12-26T07:39:00.000-08:00

Christmas was different this year; it felt so surreal. Nonetheless, it was nice to be with family.

Reconnection

2008-12-20T04:51:00.000-08:00

I’m not certain if one truly realizes how much time they spend doing something repeatedly on a daily basis until they are no longer able to repeat such an act.

I, for one, had not realized how much time I devoted to being online even though my daily work now does not allow me the freedom to be online like it once did until I was forced to be offline for a period of time. My computer caught a virus forcing me to be down for a spell and I was actually surprised I went to withdrawals. However as if not to panic I was still able to check my emails via my cell phone, but due to the slowness and awkwardness of doing so I even found myself not devoting as much time as possible. Although there did feel like some sort of security knowing I could still be “connected” even though I wasn’t really. Moreover, once the initial shock of being forced offline set in I realized how much more freedom I had to do other things.

Probably the thing I missed the most was during those sleeplessness nights I didn’t have my friend, “online connection”, available for my distraction, but with time even that seemed to not feel as bad as the initial days.

I would be lying if I didn’t say I was so delighted to have my pc back to reconnect again, but I hope I can curtail my dependency a bit. ;-)

Latkes

2008-12-09T19:35:00.000-08:00

Last Friday when I dropped Amira off at school, I asked her teacher if she needed any assitance later that afternoon and she said, "sure". As a side note, part of Amira's attendance to this school parents are required to "volunteer" 20 hours per school year per child attending.

So thinking perhaps I'd be reading to the kids or helping with coloring assignments or something relatively simple, I was shockingly surprised when the teacher informed me that I'd be assisting the kids with making Latkes as one of their job assignments. Eeeeeeeeeeck! What the heck is Latke? Once I figured out what they were and how to prepare them, the kids and I had a great time preparing them. It's so fun to watch these kids grate potatoes, measure ingredients, mix ingredients and cleanup after all is said and done.

Part of their education is learning about different cultures and how they celebrate various holidays.

Ingredients
1 pound potatoes
1/2 cup finely chopped onion
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 to 3/4 cup olive oil
Accompaniments: sour cream and applesauce

Preparation

Preheat oven to 250°F.

Peel potatoes and coarsely grate by hand, transferring to a large bowl of cold water as grated. Soak potatoes 1 to 2 minutes after last batch is added to water, then drain well in a colander.

Mix all the ingredients in a large bowl. Take mixed ingredients and shape into the size of pancakes, then add to a heated 12-inch nonstick skillet with 1/4 cup oil on moderately high temperature and heat until hot but not smoking. Reduce heat to moderate and cook until undersides are browned, about 5 minutes. Turn latkes over and cook until undersides are browned, about 5 minutes more. Transfer to paper towels to drain and season with salt. Add more oil to skillet as needed. Keep latkes warm on a wire rack set in a shallow baking pan in oven.

Serve immediately with or without sour cream or applesauce.

Amira and Grandpa Bonding Time

2008-12-07T06:52:00.000-08:00

On Sundays I work which then gives Amira and Grandpa bonding time as he's the one that watches her for me.

Grandpa seems to always be clever and thinking of something for the two of them to do during their time together. Sometimes it's a picnic to the park. Other times it's working out in his gym together. Or perhaps their latest hobby is hunting gophers.

Recently my dad's neighborhood has been infested with gophers which are ruining the neighborhood yards with trenches and holes everywhere from their little explorations. Actually I'm not really sure the purpose of the gopher aside from lawn wreckage, and apparently the neighborhood feels the same way. So, my dad has been doing research on how to outs'd the pesty gopher and has tried a number of attempts to no avail. However his latest plot seems to be working. He and Amira are setting traps throughout the yard capturing these rascals. Below find some photos of Amira's proud captures.

Way Overdo

2008-11-29T07:24:00.000-08:00

For the last few days Amira and I have been staying at my dad's for the Thanksgiving holiday and will be heading back up there today for a couple of more days. While there, we ran across Amira's first day of "big kid" school pictures. I had used my dad's digital camera since mine was broken and we finally got around to sending the photos to myself, which now in turn I'll share with all of you. :-)

Then my dear friend MixedUpMe shared with me something that she does for her stepdaughter every year on the first day of school. She would have her make a sign reflecting the grade she was going into and then snap her picture holding the sign to later put in a scrapbook for her.

Thinking this was a wonderful idea and now the end of the first day of school, I quickly found something to make a sign the next morning (2nd day of big kid school) and had Amira hold the sign up for a snapshot moment......of course it's all blurry but who cares it was captured on the second day of school.......LOL Next year, hopefully, we'll be better prepared. :-)