Monkeying Around

During spring break we spent a number of days at the park when the weather was good. Amira's goal was to cross the monkey bars on her own, and she accomplished it. :-) She couldn't wait to return to school to show her friends how she mastered them.

Happy Easter

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Happy Easter!

Rainy Day Blues

Ugh! Along with the blooming of flowers, the blossoming of new leaves, and the lusteriest green grass all around which represent signs of spring. Scattered showers also represent spring as well. With the days filled with sunshine and the wondrous beauty that surrounds us, I find myself luminous and light. With the days filled with scattered rain, gray skies, I find myself sullen and melancholy.

It is of the later that I find myself the last couple of days, and I dislike how this makes me feel. I acknowledge there are so many things in my life that are a blessing. Moreover, I acknowledge that Amira and I are blessed beyond words. However, there’s that humanistic part of ourselves that even though we realize and acknowledge all of our blessings, we still, at times, long for something else.

For me, it’s a missing of a once great relationship. I’ve not wanted to post about this as it seemed too painful at the time to even put my feelings into words, but perhaps actually putting the words in writing I can finally once and for all move forward in my life.

Three weeks after my mom’s funeral my two best friends of 8 years decided to essentially vanish from my life. They have their reasons but to me I do not understand them. My one friend, Mindy, merely sent an email essentially saying she didn’t know how to be my friend anymore. My other friend, Vicky, slowly withdrew without a trace. It took me longer to figure out Vicky no longer wanted to be my friend because although she’d respond to my text messages she wouldn’t take my calls or accept any of my offers to do anything. Being a little slow and now feeling foolish for continuing to ask someone to spend time with me made me feel like a real ass when I realized she was no longer desiring to be my friend either.

I wish I knew the reason why they’ve decided to no longer be my friend. Although I’m not certain it would really matter-----would it? The end result is they no longer desire to have me in their lives.

I struggle with my feelings over them because I loved these two women dearly and never imagined my life without them. There were times when I’d imagine Mindy and I sitting on a porch somewhere as two old women laughing and talking over our lives journey. How we survived parenthood. How we probably out lived our husbands. How we were grateful to have one another all these years.

I’ve inquired as to what happened in our friendship to cause it to go array and have not received a response from either one of them, so realize I’ll probably never know and should just move forward with my own life as they have. But the pain from the loss is still real, and at times like these damn gray rainy days very prominent on my mind.

Spring is in the Air

Spring is definitely in the air i.e., trees blooming new leaves, flowers blossoming, staying lighter later, the uncertainty of weather (one minute cold and the next moment hot), the wind kicking up people’s allergies and the smell of BBQs to name a few.

Last weekend my dad returned from Arizona----YIPPIE! Thankfully he came home to great weather otherwise I’m sure he would have turned around and headed back to Arizona for a few more weeks. Although the good weather could have been a little trick, as it’s known to still rain and be cold through April and some of May, we’ll see. Anyway, he made it home safe and sound and is happy to be in his own bed after so long.

What a welcoming home though for dad as that very weekend I had bought a new bed for Amira and needed propane for my BBQ, and dad was right there to help. I’m sure he had no idea he was going to be delivery guy. We used his truck to get Amira’s new bed and he and I got it all set up in her room, then at the same time my brother’s neighbor’s niece was having a baby any moment and was in desperate need of baby things so I gave them Amira’s crib which was essentially brand new as she sleeps with me and two car seats. So we loaded dad’s truck up with that stuff and off he went to the next stop.

The next day we fired up the BBQ and I made Amira hamburgers for dinner. She set the table we have outside with our plates, napkins, drinks and condiments for the hamburgers along with fresh tomatoes. She was so thrilled for the hamburgers that she ended up eating nearly two whole burgers herself. I swear I don’t know where she puts that food, but her eating is always a topic for conversation. It seems from what people share that kids can be picky eaters or at best not eat much at all. The parents are always complaining their kids never eat and certainly not vegetables, so when Amira comes along and eats whatever is presented to her it’s as if she’s breaking some non-eating kids record.

Today we will be planting our very small garden, which we are both thrilled about. We are planting tomatoes, strawberries, sweet basil and peppermint. I’ve never personally planted a garden so am thrilled to see what happens. I remember as a kid we had a garden and thought it was thrilling. Although from my parents point of view years later, it was a lot of work. Should the results of our labor produce anything we’ll be sure and share photos.

One of my friends/former co-workers is going through a rough time. She’s the one I may have shared is 20 years old and lost her mom recently. A couple of weeks after losing her mom she was able to return to work, but to only be dismissed from her position after a few days. I’m not certain of the details nor does it matter, but nonetheless I’m feeling for this girl because right now she’s in the place where everything that seems to go wrong will go wrong. So for a good excuse to keep with the use of the BBQ I invited her and a few other co-workers to come for a BBQ.

Need for Vacation

Amira and I returned safely from a whirlwind weekend to Arizona. It was so wonderful to see my dad after all this time. Moreover, it was so heartwarming to see Amira run to Grandpa in the airport to hug him.

We were greeted at the airport by my dad and two of my cousins and from their the entertainment began.

What I find most fascinating about family gatherings is the mixture of personalities that would not in any other situation mix or mingle together. Moreover, in any other situation these personalities would never get along. However, for the sake of I suppose nothing else but the mere "family bond" do these personalities endure through the ages. Truly the are like fire and gasoline when gathered together and yet they all seem to somehow manage. It was rather interesting as a somewhat "outsider" as I'm not around it on a daily basis to see them interact. If for nothing else it was rather entertaining and overwhelming at the same time.

The core base of the family members, my aunt and her four now adult children, have very strong views and opinions which can conflict with one another at times. Then you mix in their respective spouses who feel it's their right by marriage to throw in their opinions of the family members and the games begin.

The part that intrigues me is the core base family members get along well. I suppose because they've known each other since early childhood and have learned to adapt, adjust and respect one another's opinions. For this core group at times can be at conflict with one another but if an outsider were to throw in their two cents on the conflict the core group would immediately re-group, bind together and take that outsider out.

The core group is very loving, supportive and helpful. They are genuinely good all around people that do their best to help their family, their community, etc.

Because of the loudness and some times brassness of my family, I'm always surprised to hear when one of them is getting married because my first thought is "have they met the core base family?" And if so, my next thought would be "what's wrong with them?" I know that sounds harsh and strange, but honestly I wonder why an outsider would want to join the force because no matter what, they will still be an outsider to a certain degree.

Aside from the madness of the mixed personalities we had a great time............lots of laughter and memorable moments.

Again, only having two real full days there we pretty much just hung out at my aunt's house visiting with everyone, but on Sunday we went as a group to a place called Rawhide which is like an old wild west town.

Here's some photos from our trip.

Outhouse used for the ATM.

Sign out my aunt's backyard.

Sign over the front door of one of my cousin's home.

Sign over the front door of one of my cousin's home.

Event and Memorable Moments

This past weekend I was asked to work at a Middle Eastern Dance Festival called Rakkasah, which was quite an honor to be asked. My former dance teacher's daughter, Jamilla, is also a massage therapist as well as an esthetician in Beverly Hills, CA. She and her mom have been a part of the belly dance community forever both as performers and vendors, so when I was asked by Jamilla if I wanted to work with her performing massages I jumped on the opportunity. It was my first massage event which I was both thrilled and nervous about, but felt very secure in the fact that Jamilla was a pro at these types of things and knew I'd be in good hands. It's always nice when someone else has already foliaged through something working out all the kinks and ooops that come along with beginning something new. :-)

The event turned out to be very profitable for both of us along with being amazingly fun. Where else can one go to work, listen to great music, watch people, enjoy hundreds of performing dancers, and work all at the same time! I would certainly partner again with Jamilla anytime and anywhere she wanted as we just clicked so well together.

One of my friend's graciously offered to take care of Amira for me on Saturday and Sunday while I went to this event as my dad is still in Arizona. Although I've known my girlfriend for many many years Amira has only met her a couple of times, so I was concerned about how Amira would handle staying at someone else's house but trusted she would do well. My friend's daughter is about 7 years older than Amira and was thrilled Amira was coming for the weekend as she was really looking forward to taking care of her. :-)

Anyway, on Saturday evening I called my friend to say good night to Amira and to see how she was doing. My friend had shared she was doing great and they were all having a fun time, and then she put Amira on the phone. We talked briefly and she said she was having fun. It's funny, I don't talk to Amira on the phone much as there's no reason because she's always with me but on the rare occasions I've talked to her on the phone it sounds so weird to hear her voice. Anyway, every night before we go to sleep I ask Amira where she'd like to go in our dreams. I've done this for years, as my thinking was if the last thing she thought about before she went to sleep was of peaceful things then perhaps she'd have peaceful sleep. So anyway, when I asked her where she wanted to go Saturday night she said that she wanted to go to Butterfly Island (a place she says if filled with beautiful butterflies as well as beautiful flowers) to which I replied with a smile "ok baby, I'll see you there when I fall asleep" and she responded "ok---bye bye". After hanging up the phone although I was smiling at these precious words I also had a tear in my eye because it's these precious words and thoughts that are so memorable and meaningful. It's these moments that remind us that nothing else matters but the preciousness of your loved ones.

It was so wonderful to finally get Amira back in my arms and us home safely. And now we are off to another busy week. This Friday evening we fly out to Arizona to see my dad, aunt and cousins for a couple of days. We are thrilled. Then next week some time dad comes home----YIPPIE!!!!

Busy-ness

Well Amira and I have had a couple of busy weeks with school, work and life in general. She recently had a science fair at her school which meant we had to come up with something for her project. I sooooooooooooooooooooo stink at science so was talking to one of my co-workers who shared her daughter made a volcano for an experiment, and thought we could do that! So, erupting volcano it was. I still want to record a little video of her doing the actual project, but until then here's some photos.





My neighbor lady who is 70 just had a severe fall outside her home recently and decapitated the ball joint in her right shoulder. Can you say, "OUCH!!!!!" Anyway, Amira and I have been helping her out and spending time with her. Just love this lady so much. She's feisty and classy all at the same time. She reminds me a lot of Audrey Hepburn..............interestingly enough her first name is Audrey. Go figure!


She's also asked me to work some massage on her, which of course I'd never deny her that request, and she actually feels there's some improvement. We can only hope and pray she doesn't have to have any surgery. We'll go to the doctor's on Monday for some updated x-rays to see her progress. Keep your fingers crossed.


This weekend is also going to be busy. Yesterday we have to go to a funeral for one of my other co-workers who lost her mom. The poor girl is only 20 years old and her mom was only 46. Was not actually looking forward to going (who actually is ever happy to go to a funeral.....lol), but knew how important it was that she receive as much love and support as possible. The service was very nice and many people spoke of this woman I had never met and shared snipets of her life from their experiences with her, which were very heartfelt. May God rest her soul and now begin healing this family as they learn to live their lives differently, inshallah.


Then today I have two clients coming to my home for massages which I'm looking forward too as well.


Some where in between all this maddness we need to do laundry for Amira's class. :-) Not worried as somehow these things always get done and worked out.


Tell me what you're doing this weekend.