Well as this week begins, it is more of the happenings of this week that have either a positive or negative effect on how this week ends. It is finals week. Wednesday evening I have my final practice exam and Thursday morning is the final written exam.
Although in many ways I'm looking forward to school coming to an end and in many ways it seems like forever, it is also coming to a close far too quickly. I know to some they will know exactly what I'm saying. It's wondering if you've learned enough, if you've mastered your field of experience enough to feel even remotely confident to now go out and market yourself to potential employers/clients. During one’s educational process with all of your other classmates that are essentially on the same page with you, we now come to a crossroad where that safety net of the classroom, the comfort of your classmates, the encouragement of your instructors are now swiftly removed from your sight, thus leaving you with a feeling of floundering and muttering all on your own. I imagine this must be what a bird feels like once it decides to leave the next for the very first time to attempt flying. Their confidence levels are so high stuck inside that nest day after day seeing their parents flying in and out of the next, and yet when they are standing on the very edge of the nest looking out in the vast world before them I wonder if there isn't a split second of fear as well as an under their breath muddle of "oh crap" before plummeting out of the nest flapping, flapping, flapping only to realize if they steadied their flapping in a more rhythmatic movement they would begin to soar. However it's that nano-second of standing on the edge before plummeting that is the most frightful of all. This is the place I feel I am at, but keep reassuring myself through prayers and quietness that this too is merely a step in life---as well as to remind myself to breath deep within rather than that shallow chest breathing that seems to take over when we get into the "fight or flight" pattern. More so than ever it is during these tense or stressful times that we must remember to breathe deep. (Keeping my little brown bag handy just in case I get a little too into my breathing pattern and get light headed.)
It is also during this time period when one probably feels the most alive. The adrenaline surging through your body causing you to feel like a super hero of sorts. However, coupling super hero adrenaline power with trembling fetal position fear does not necessarily make for a nice combination. :-) Yes, I’m being a little over dramatic but the imaging of that last sentence alone cracked me up----so it’s all good. All seems right with the world now. Lol
Now, I’m off to save the day in a palm-sweating, nerve trembling all the while practicing my deep breathing exercises and looking fashionably super-heroish in garment wear. Until we meet again, have a fabulous week.
