Shame of a Gender

Last night my girlfriend and I decided we wanted to go out, listen to music and watch people as we were unescorted by children. :o)

However, since neither one of us goes out at night aside from the ventures to the mall so the kids (Amira and my friend’s niece and nephew) can play in the play area, Starbucks, or any other place that allows children, we were uncertain as to where to go. Recalling there was a little place inside a hotel not far from my house we decided to meander over there.

Securing a relatively good spot with a bird’s eye view of the patrons, the dance floor, the beautifully lit pool outside behind us, and yet still remaining obscurely tucked away, we immediately found ourselves looking at one another with our eyes wide open. We mutually agreed the music was nice, the atmosphere was comfortable and the diversity of customers were amazing, conjuring the assumption we were probably in for a good night of entertainment.

However, quickly I found myself filled with a plethora of feelings. To name a few they ranged from interest, disgust, and sadness. The crowd that filled the room was of all ages, cultures, and spiritual backgrounds, which was what mostly peaked my interest. Fascinated to know why each and ever person was there that specific evening, for I knew why I was there. Gathering from our observation deck it appeared some were frequent flyers, others were there celebrating accomplishments (graduating class of nurses), some were hotel guests merely passing the evening away, and others seemed to be their as exhibitionist hoping to capture attention. (I’m always intrigued when seeing such diversities celebrating their interest separately yet still remaining a part of the whole.)

Earnestly there was a part of sadness that fell over me seeing the ones that appeared to be frequent flyers of the establishment (i.e., those that probably come here every weekend or maybe even every night of the week). Curious to know how one’s life could be so empty and void that they have no other interest than to land ‘here’ regularly. That felt lonely and sad. Of course, these are big assumptions on my part, as that’s how I would feel.

Capturing on the part of the evening that brought the writing of this post and ultimately the title of it, I found myself feeling incredulously astounded by the behavior of my own gender. Why is it that they seem to have absolutely no shame?

It would have been one thing if it were only a few of a small group that were there having fun, but it wasn’t. There were a number of women from all the groups I previously mentioned that were displaying themselves in a most untasteful manner.

I have no problem with people having fun and being silly, but irrefutably within reason. I suppose that bound of reason is up to the individual; however, the masses seemed to all be justified in their tawdry behavior. The thought that ran through my head was “do you still wonder why you are single?” Certainly, neither this evening nor this establishment was a place to meet my future husband—far from that; however, it did seem to clear some things up for me.

Again, only my observation, but it would seem people are lonely, starved for attention, and yet so closed off emotionally (their hearts are boarded up like Fort Knox) that they act out in strange manners. Moreover, the mannerism of the majority of the women in this establishment left me feeling ashamed. For how can someone think so little of them self or have so little integrity to not be concerned? Even though I consider myself pretty open-minded, I just can’t stand vulgar exhibitionism. Always reminds me of a saying my mom would use “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”.

Definitely not a prude or uptight as I’ve done some silly things in my day, and not wanting to seem as if I’m perched on a thrown passing judgment, but merely attempting to process what I witnessed and the effects thereof.

In spite of this, without seeming so dismal and gray, my girlfriend and I did enjoy one another’s company and spent countless hours laughing and talking.