Integrity and beyond

What does it mean to someone to have his or her integrity attacked or humiliated? How does one deal with such an offense? How does one remain grounded and centered and not allow their ego to assume the role of either victim or evil barbarian?

Certainly we as individuals have our own point of view of how we perceive something being done or not done. However, what is it like to be on the receiving end of someone else’s perception of how they perceive something being done or not done if it contradicts your own perception of the same situation?

Certainly our temperament by nature will have a great determining factor in how we react or respond to such situations. (Disclaimer – please note the following are mere attributes of different temperaments.) For an example, someone with a Choleric temperament generally has a very strong Type A personality that is very driven. They are quickly and vehemently excited by any impression made; he/she tends to react immediately, and the impression lasts a long time and easily induces new excitement. They can be very abrupt, seemingly cold-hearted, and very driven by nature. These individuals are generally very successful people in the work-world; however, due to their driven and even perfectionist nature can be seemingly aloof emotionally and very difficult to connect with on a personal level. On the other hand someone with a Sanguine temperament is very outgoing, fun loving, the life of the party. Like the Choleric they are quickly excited by any impression made; however this quickly vanishes. These individuals seem to be ready at any given moment to do anything. However, they can be somewhat draining because they never seem to settle down at anything, almost as if to have a short attention span. These temperaments are great to be around for some in small doses because again of their fun loving nature; however, sometimes they can be seen as never taking anything serious including their own lives. Then there is the Melancholic temperament which is at first only slightly excited by any impression received; a reaction does not set in at all or only after some time. But the impression remains deeply rooted, especially if new impressions of the same kind are repeated. These individuals tend to take things on an emotional level far deeper than any of the other temperaments. For these individuals internalize far deeper than anyone could ever imagine even though from the outside seem very calm, collected and unaffected by situations. Individuals with this temperament have an extremely softhearted disposition. They tend to enjoy silence and solitude over crowds. These individuals are slow to trust due to their fear of ever being hurt. Last but certainly not least is the Phlegmatic temperament, which to some may seem well balanced because of their ability to be neither easily offended nor overwhelmingly distracted by failures or sufferings. These individuals generally remain composed, thoughtful, deliberate, and have a cold, sober, and practical judgment. They tend to live in the very moment, and can be easily distracted from their responsibilities.

I believe we are a combination of all these temperaments with one of them being a dominant and the others to subsequently fall in line behind the dominant one. Recognizing these temperaments is very helpful in perhaps understanding an individual’s reaction or non-reaction towards something. Moreover, recognizing your own temperament can prove helpful in understanding your own reaction or non-reaction towards something. However, where it might get tricky is knowing how to deal with someone else’s temperament with your own temperament, if it differs, which brings me back to the beginning of this lengthy post.

Have you ever taken the time to consider these different temperament types in your daily life? Have you ever taken the time to wonder why disagreements and/or conflicts go on unresolved or maybe painfully out of control? Resulting in the severing of personal and/or business relations with little or no hope for repair.

Given the nature of who we all are makes me wonder at times how on earth we have been able to co-exist this long. Once again proving to me that there is a director (God, Allah, Higher Power, Creator, Divine Spirit---whatever name you feel resonates best with you) managing this crazy production we are all performing in known as “life”.