Gratitude

Recently, I've been struggling with Amira's perceived attitude. What I seem to hear most often is all the things she's unhappy about (i.e., I didn't get to watch my show, how come I always have to take a shower, I don't like my sandwich, I didn't get the right kind of Gold Fish crackers I like, etc.) Note: Most of the things she complains about are an after affect due to not voicing her desires or thoughts ahead of time. Almost as if waiting, then complaining.

Perhaps it's not that bad, but it's what my ears seemed to be attuned to lately, and quite frankly it bothers me. So, I decided to recently add another little "ritual" to our daily lives to see how that might change the mood direction. I asked her the other day what she was grateful for, and she asked me what "grateful" meant. So, I explained to her that it was our way of acknowledging all those things we are thankful for, for example---I'm thankful that the sun was shining today.

She proceeded to ask me why we needed to do that, and I explained because it's our way of acknowledging and thanking God for our countless blessings we receive everyday.

So, Tuesday, this week, on our way to school, I asked her "Ok, so tell me what you are thankful for today". Her response was, "I don't know, the day hasn't started yet". To which, I laughed and said, "baby the day started when you opened your eyeballs this morning". Then, I said, "I'm thankful for the beautiful birds that were singing this morning". She said, "can I tell you after school today?"

After dinner that evening I decided to ask once again, "so, what are you grateful for?" And the response I got was priceless.

Amira-"Can I first tell you what I'm not grateful for?" At this point I wanted to scream because I was getting so tired of this perceived negativity, but decided better. Decided I should allow her to express this thought, so she'd be free to express something positive.

Me-"Sure"

Amira-"I'm not grateful I had to twirl the jump-rope all day at recess while the other kids jumped."

Me-"Ahhhh"

Amira-"I'm grateful I got Ms. Peggy this morning when we drove through the car line at school."

She rattled a few more off, then asked me what I was grateful for to which I shared. By the end of dinner there was a definitely change in attitude. Felt lighter.

Here's for being grateful!

Artist in the making

Amira has recently shown an interest in art, so found a school in a nearby town that offers art classes to children of all ages.

Yesterday was her first trial class and here's the results of her first project.

She seemed to really enjoy herself, so she's been officially signed up and will continue attending classes on Saturday mornings.

Looking forward to sharing future Amira works with you.

Reading Corner

In the mist of the madness of the days events I'm always looking for a way to quiet the mind and still the spirit, and one of the ways I do so is in reading. Setting aside the study and research matter for a bit in order to quiet and still myself, I picked up a book my brother got me recently called A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier by Ishamel Beah.

The first sentence alone in the book grabbed me and pulled me in immediately.

"There were all kinds of stories told about the war that made it sound as if it was happening in a faraway and different land..." Also the last sentence of the first page continued to pull at me to continue. " "The only wars I knew of were thoe that I had read about in books or seen in movies such as Rambo: First Blood, and the one in neighboring Liberia that I had heard about on the BBC news."

Probably the most surprising and unfathomable part was that this story line takes place in the mid 90’s. Yes, of course, I realize there’s unthinkable things happening all over the world to millions of humans, but for some reason this particular reminder just pulled at me.

This is an extraordinary memoir by a young man who has lived and seen the worst of humanity and managed to survive and become a better man for all the tragedy, violence, horror and degradation he was forced to witness as a 12-year old boy. I can see this as required reading in high schools across the country. It is not only that good, it is that important. The writing is honest, straightforward, painfully introspective but never self-pitying. Truly an amazing story, and a history lesson we all need be reminded of now and again.

Another observation that I noted was the boy came from a Muslim background, yet “Religion” was not a topic on the table, which I found refreshing. For often times, the topic of “religion” can sidetrack some from the whole picture at hand. However, admittedly, I’m curious to know his spiritual reflection during and after such a hellish time in one’s life.

Simply put-excellent!

Thanksgiving Feast

Yesterday was Amira's class Thanksgiving Feast, and what fun it was to be a part of their activity.

Part of their class assignment was actually preparing food for the feast, as well as creating pilgrim hats for a parade around the school. :-)

Once the kids put on their pilgrim hats they marched outside and lined up until the other kindergarten class could join them. After a few moments the other class appeared dressed like Native American Indians banging drums. It was so cute to see the two groups intermingle and parade throughout the entire school singing a song that goes like this:

Five fat turkeys are weeeeeeeeeeee,

We spent all night in a treeeeeeeeee,

When the cook came around,

we couldn't be found!

So that's why we're here you seeeeeeeeeeeee!

After the parade we returned to the classroom where the children were assigned stations to finish the preparation of the Thanksgiving Feast.

I was assigned to the sweet potato station and what a hoot that was to see the kids totally enjoying smashing the sweet potatoes.

Following the preparation of the food was the task of taking everything out back to the picnic tables and dressing the table for the feast. The kids seemed to enjoy decorating and setting the table and did so in such an organized fashion. Considering we were right next to the playground with toys tempting to take them away from their assignments, they remained steadfast on their tasks.

Probably the most interesting part of this entire feast was the fact that it was vegetarian-----meaning no turkey. Can you believe that!!!!! That seems so un-American......LOL However, apparently it was decided upon to make it a vegetarian feasts because one of the teacher assistants is a vegan, so they were honoring her.

The Fountains

Last night my girlfriends and I took the kids to a new outdoor mall called The Fountains which is still in the process of opening. We wanted to see what all the buzz was about this place because apparently everyone that's been there seems to go on and on about this place.

So we took off to get Big Spoon Yogurt which is a self-serve frozen yogurt place that has every topping imaginable you can put on your frozen yogurt. Your yogurt is weighed and charged by the ounce. I think the excitement over this place is that fact that people get to serve themselves. For some reason humans just like to feel like they are somehow always in control......lol Anyway, it's a pretty tasty treat nonetheless.

After having our treat we made a way around the corner, we found a fire pit with nice comfy chairs around the perimeter of the pit.

Strolling along the sidewalk looking at all the stores that have opened we made our way to the center fountain. Now this fountain was impressive to all of us. We must have sat and watched it for an hour or so. It's interactive with music so the water show coming up from the center of the fountain is keeping beat with whatever music is playing. Although disappointingly it didn't play very many songs, BUT even when it wasn't playing music the fountain was still performing. It was lit up with all different colors and every so often mist would emerge and then float over the crowd of on-lookers. Amira and her friend, Michael, were having so much fun waving their hands up in the air trying to touch the water that I couldn't help but at one point to jump up and join them. :-)

Love spontaneous moments such as that one.

P.S. I will leave you with this video clip that someone recorded of the show.

Dress Rehearsal

Today was dress rehearsal/picture day at Amira's dance studio. They have been preparing for their dance recital, which will be taking place on December 8th. I'm sure at this point the parents are far more excited than the kids because I don't believe any of the four performing have ever done a recital before so therefore don't know what to expect.

I was able to sneak a couple of pictures of her in her costume (her group is going to be Candy Canes - performing a song from the Nutcracker). The first two were captured by my digital, but then the batteries died, , so had to resort to my cell for the other two.

Her teacher let the girls show the parents a preview of their dance routine today, which was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute. ;-)

Out of the mouths of Babes

Yesterday I had to take my daughter with me to one of the offices’ I work at, as there was a recent out break of ‘pink eye’ aka Conjunctivitis in her school. For those that may not be familiar with ‘pink eye’ you can see it's definition here http://www.medicinenet.com/pink_eye/glossary.htm under Conjunctivitis. Truly nothing earth shattering, and extremely common in kids.

My whole philosophy on people’s overreaction to any little medical illness is a whole other topic in itself for me. Simply put – lighten up people! Just because there’s a sniffle doesn’t mean you panic and start injecting antibiotics, which just kills all the natural bacteria used to fight off infections. Moreover, I say let all the kids in school get it at once, so we can get it over with at the same time and move on with our lives. Anyway, I digress.

So, my daughter and I head off to the office to work for the day. She managed to have a few toys to play with and did remarkably well considering we were cooped up in an office all day. Even we as adults have a hard time staying focused and quiet in an office environment before getting bored and restless. :-)

Finally towards the last hour of the day, she couldn’t take it anymore and was getting restless and wanted to use the computer because after all, the computer was taking Mom’s attention away from her. So, I found a website for kids that allows them to operate the mouse as a coloring crayola and they can then color a picture. She thought this was great fun, and I was impressed at her operating skills at 3 ½ years old mash Allah.

At one point she said, “You can color a picture if you like”. She then pulled up a My Little Pony picture and then gave me the mouse to color the picture. Of course she had to tell me which colors to use to color the picture, and I obeyed. When I finished the picture, she looked at me and said, “Good job Baby. I’m so proud of you. Give me a hug.” My heart just melted and I hugged her, and I heard one of my co-workers say, “ohhhhhhhhh that’s so sweet”.

Truly I found a lesson in this incredibly endearing moment, and that was to watch your actions and choose your words carefully because she was merely repeating what she’s heard before.

Mere presence of someone

It's a beautiful sunny Sunday morning, and my daughter awakes thrilled because today she gets to put on her "fancy" dress and go see the Easter Bunny. She is thrilled beyond belief. I explained we were going to the gym first, then return home to get ready to go see the Easter Bunny. She squeals, "ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok", while jumping up and down.

We return from the gym and get ready for our big outing to see the Mall Easter Bunny........she's 3 1/2, so to her she doesn't really understand what the Easter Bunny is all about, she just knows the bunny makes her laugh.

We get to the mall and I am pleasantly surprised to see how empty it is. Moreover, the line to the “Easter Bunny” is really short. There is only one kid in front of us, and my daughter’s energy level is so high I feel we could fly at this moment. It’s the most incredible feeling of energy. That pure, untainted flow of excitement, mashallah.

The kid in front of us now goes and sits on the bunny’s lap for his photo and we are next up. My daughter is nearly levitating at this moment because she’s so light with excitement. Now this is where the title of this blog comes in. How is it that the mere presence of another human being can either make you feel so good or so bad without the utterance of a word?

Of course as an adult we are rather jaded by life’s experiences and therefore are sometimes quick to judge a situation or a person, but children seem to be a little more tolerant. However, if I’ve learned anything about my daughter it’s that she seems to be a beacon for delivering accurate non-verbal messages about others. As I’m writing this now, I’m realizing that perhaps as adults we tend to teach our children over time to not think or act a certain way, when in reality their pureness allows them to be truth-tellers. And because we are taught growing up that we must mind our manners and always be respectful (which I don’t disagree with), but we are also taught to be tolerant of adults and their behaviors to the point that the children tend to hide their innocence…..perhaps as a way of survival in this world.

I know, I know, I’m getting really sidetracked here. Anyway, there’s an employee working at the bunny palace, and he comes over to us but hasn’t even uttered a word yet and immediately I see this expression wash over my daughter’s face. It’s as if she’d landed from this wonderful flying experience of excitement due to bad weather. This man was seemingly excited about his job and entertaining the kids to get the ‘perfect’ picture, but on the other hand there seemed to be something very disturbing about him. Perhaps it was my cynical side rearing its ugly head, but on the other hand my daughter’s non-verbal expressions were mirroring my own thoughts. Could it be that she picked up on my thoughts? Or were they truly hers as well? How is it that someone’s presence can either make you feel good or make you feel bad all within an instance? This I’m curious to learn from others.