Winners and Whiners

The other day one of my co-workers had a book sitting on the desk next to them. The title alone caught my attention, thus causing me to pick it up and further inquire. Of course, I needed to borrow this little ditty because the cover was not enough to satisfied my need to read more.

Here's the title and description on the back cover.

The Top 10 Distinctions between Winners and Whiners

10. Winners take responsibility.
Whiners play the victim.

9. Winners can have what they want.
Whiners want what they cannot have.

8. Winners find a way.
Whiners find an excuse.

7. Winners brighten a room by entering.
Whiners brighten a room by leaving.

6. Winners listen twice as much as they talk.
Whiners talk twice as much as they listen.

5. Winners enjoy life's journey.
Whiners put their joy in the destinations.

4. Winners build friendships.
Whiners destroy friendships.

3. Winners think big.
Whiners think small.

2. Winners are focus-minded.
Whiners are scatterbrained.

1. Winners create positive meanings.
Whiners create negative meanings.

One of my clients has written a book entitled Radically Spiritual Adventures Everyday. He came in one day for treatment excited to share his book had just hit the print and showed it to me. Of course, excited for him and his partner I was the first to purchase it.

When time allows I’ve been gradually reading through this delightful book that seems to confirm and resonate well my own beliefs.

Today I was reading a chapter entitled Accepting Life on Life’s Terms – A Really Radical Spiritual Adventure, and in this chapter was an excerpt of a story called The Road of Life by an unknown author. It was such a nice excerpt that I thought I’d share.

“At first it seemed to me as thought life were rather like riding on a tandem bike with God in the back helping me pedal. I was in control. I knew the way. Life was rather boring, but it was predictable. I always made sure we took the shortest distance between two points. I don’t remember exactly when it was that God suggested we change places, but I can tell you life has not been the same since.

When God took over the lead, we stopped taking shortcuts. He, in fact, started taking us on unexpected long cuts, up mountains and through rocky places at breakneck speeds. It was all I could do to hang on. Even though it looked to me like madness, He just said, ‘Keep pedaling’! I was anxious and worried and I asked, ‘Where are you taking me’? He just laughed and didn’t answer….and I had to learn how to trust.

I forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure. When I’d say I was scared, He’d lean back and touch my hand. He took me to people with gifts I needed, gifts of healing, acceptance and joy. They were gifts to take on my journey, my God’s and mine!

When we were off again, God said, ‘Give the gifts away; they are extra baggage, too much weight.’ So I did, to people we met, and I found that in giving I received, and still our burden was light. I did not trust Him at first to be in control of my life. I thought He’d wreck it, but I’ve discovered He knows bike secrets, knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners, jump to clear high rocks and fly to shorten rough passages.

I’ve learned to shut up and just pedal. Even in the strangest places our adventure takes us, I’m beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face as my travel guide, God, leads the way. Now and then, when I think I know which road is best or which way we should go, He just smiles and says….’Keep pedaling’.”

Reading Corner

In the mist of the madness of the days events I'm always looking for a way to quiet the mind and still the spirit, and one of the ways I do so is in reading. Setting aside the study and research matter for a bit in order to quiet and still myself, I picked up a book my brother got me recently called A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier by Ishamel Beah.

The first sentence alone in the book grabbed me and pulled me in immediately.

"There were all kinds of stories told about the war that made it sound as if it was happening in a faraway and different land..." Also the last sentence of the first page continued to pull at me to continue. " "The only wars I knew of were thoe that I had read about in books or seen in movies such as Rambo: First Blood, and the one in neighboring Liberia that I had heard about on the BBC news."

Probably the most surprising and unfathomable part was that this story line takes place in the mid 90’s. Yes, of course, I realize there’s unthinkable things happening all over the world to millions of humans, but for some reason this particular reminder just pulled at me.

This is an extraordinary memoir by a young man who has lived and seen the worst of humanity and managed to survive and become a better man for all the tragedy, violence, horror and degradation he was forced to witness as a 12-year old boy. I can see this as required reading in high schools across the country. It is not only that good, it is that important. The writing is honest, straightforward, painfully introspective but never self-pitying. Truly an amazing story, and a history lesson we all need be reminded of now and again.

Another observation that I noted was the boy came from a Muslim background, yet “Religion” was not a topic on the table, which I found refreshing. For often times, the topic of “religion” can sidetrack some from the whole picture at hand. However, admittedly, I’m curious to know his spiritual reflection during and after such a hellish time in one’s life.

Simply put-excellent!

Latest Read

Well have been trying to gather information to begin the preparation of my master's thesis and along the researching trail I came across a book at the library that caught my eye. The title alone is a little catchy.....lol

Anyway, at first I wasn't sure I wanted to partake in reading such a book, but there was a part of me that really wanted to see what it was all about, so the reading began.

Admittedly, I laughed at the obvious ridiculousness of the behavior of women and yet sadly saw some similar traits in myself. Grrrrrrrrrrr, hate when that happens! Nonetheless, I thought it was a great book.......it confirmed growth I had made as well as reminders of how I should perceive things in any potential relationship. Moreover, I think this is a must read for women. Even though it might be painful or make you mad to read it, it is essential for making better choices for one’s self rather than continuing to live delusionally.

This is not a “man bashing” book but rather a “woman taking accountability” book. We as women do not have the right to continue bashing men and blaming them for the things we knowingly accept as their bad behavior. We cannot love them one minute, then turn around and complain how awful they are because we no longer accept their behavior as such. Quite honestly, I think we as women tend to think more along the lines of “what if” rather than “what is” and therefore wake up one day feeling some how empty. We tend to think “if only this or that happened” we would be fulfilled and complete, which certainly puts a lot of responsibility on someone other than ourselves to make that happen with that type of thinking. Specifically thinking, when it comes to finding a life partner, we as women need to remember we are part of the selection process too. We are responsible for choosing our life partner just as he was selective in his choice. I think often times this gets over looked by the woman, and she believes she can only be selected. If more women put effort into selecting their partner as men did there would probably be more of a balance in partnerships rather than women just waiting to be picked.

Would love to know your thoughts on this……….. Perhaps a nice dialogue between the two genders would make for an interesting discussion

Latest Read

My latest read is called, A Portrait of Egypt by Mary Anne Weaver.

Synopses & Reviews
Publisher Comments:
For centuries Egypt has been a citadel of Islamic learning and thought, and since the signing of the Egyptian-Israeli Peace Treaty in 1979, it has been of immense strategic importance to American interests in the Middle East. But Egypt is also a country in crisis, torn between the old and the new, between unsettled religious revival and secular politics. President Hosni Mubarak favors a secular society. But Mubarak's government faces constant conflict with militant clerics such as Sheikh Omar Abdel-Rahman. In A Portrait of Egypt, Mary Anne Weaver argues that an Islamist victory in Egypt is almost inevitable, and, unlike that of Shi'ite Iran, its impact on the Islamic world will be truly profound.

Based on exclusive interviews with militants and front men, generals and presidents, A Portrait of Egypt is essential reading for anyone trying to understand the far-reaching consequences of the growing impact of Islamist politics and policies on the West.

Because the book is based mostly of a political nature with extreme viewpoints I’m having difficulty in reading it very quickly. I actually purchased this book 5 years ago, started it but couldn’t get into it, so put it away. After completely my last book and not having anything else to read I opted to give this one a try again. I’m more than half way through it and have mixed thoughts.

On the one hand it has recent historical information, which is rather fascinating, but on the other hand I’m perplexed by the actions or thought processes of either extremely intelligent or charismatic human beings. Certainly Islamist Militants, charismatic Sheikhs, religious leaders, corrupt government officials and other extreme leaders in any role of power have been around forever, but I’m curious to know what exactly causes these extremely bright people to become so narrow-minded in their beliefs that causes them to act so radical.

For throughout history we have so many examples of such intelligent people causing such heinous harm to their fellow human brethrens that to an average Joe as myself it is absolutely unimaginable. Yet, our history books or elders around us can recount the days gone by with all sorts of tails of extremism. We are currently living in times that are no different from that of our past with regards to extremism. Moreover, no matter what is accomplished in today’s world, extremism will be recorded in our future history archives as well. So, what is the root of such actions?

Again, if we look back not long ago at a collection of just random individuals such as Adolf Hilter, Joseph Stalin, David Koresh, Jim Jones, Saddam Hussein, and Heidi Fleiss – Hollywood Madam,
it would seem that “statistically” 4 out of the 6 of these people have had abusive childhood backgrounds. Is an abusive childhood enough to create such disturbing individuals? Moreover, is this enough to create such influential individuals to reek such havoc on the masses? Ok, so Heidi Fleiss never killed anyone, however, the fact remains she is on a very small scale a charismatic person that has a clever mind. Certainly Heidi wasn't the first madam, as prostitution is the oldest profession in the world, but the fact remains she was/is a very successful "business woman" and has had an effect on a number of people from all walks of life. I am also curious as to why it’s the male species that exudes these extreme qualities more so than women. Unfortunately, I am not able to think of any women that have done such atrocities to society, so if anyone cares to share such information I would greatly appreciate it.

Of course an obvious statement would be to say, “if only these individuals used their intellect, talents and skills for the betterment of the world rather than the destruction of human life, we’d be better off”. However, I have to wonder if each and every one of these few I mentioned thought exactly that statement? I wonder if in their minds somehow they thought they were making a positive impact or difference in the world to make it a better place to live?

Nonetheless I hope to finish this book, although it is of a dark nature so have a difficult time reading such things. On the other hand I have an admiration for the woman that interviewed so many influential people in order to write this book. She certainly an audacious woman in my book.

Latest Read

After seeing one of Oprah’s shows a few weeks back with a guest speaker who wrote a book entitled Eat, Pray, Love, I knew that was going to be my latest read. The very next day I went out and purchased this book and have been reslishing it every since.

I’m not one that believes that things happen by change or by luck or anything like that, but rather think of them as divinely planned. I believe we have free will to make the choice to either follow the divine path that is laid before us or not. I believe the purpose of our lives is to learn from our mistakes, to stretch and grow beyond our own limits all for the purpose of having a closer relationship with God. So with that little tidbit information, I believe this book, although published in 2006 and even released in paperback in February 2007, was brought to my attention at the exact perfect time I was suppose to receive it.

I can relate to the author of this book on so many levels. The perfect description for her although linguistically I’m not certain any of us can be completely described to our full attention, but nonetheless she’s such a beautifully flawed human. She’s very funny. She makes herself very vulnerable with her life’s experiences, which is refreshing. She is so detailed in her experiences as if to say, “here I am standing completely naked for all to see my flaws, weaknesses, and insecurities”, and yet somehow this doesn’t make her seem weak, helpless, tawdry or even pathetic.

I am not completely through the book, but so far I can tell you it’s been a fantastic book to read. There are parts you just savor, then there are parts that leave you hungry for more, and even parts that leave you pondering. Overall I would consider this a must read book if for nothing else than the humanistic experience which is both so simple and yet so complicated. There is no doubt we are fascinating creatures to say the least.

Latest Read

Well finished the book called Princess and am anxious to get the other two books that will conclude the trilogy.

Started to begin Lipstick Jihad, but was given another book by my dad to read. My parent’s neighbor literally have their own Borders bookstore and DVD theater of which is always at my parents’ disposal. The neighbors know how much my dad likes mysteries, so lent him the book called Absolute Power by David Baldacci. My dad told me the book caught him from the very beginning and held his attention the entire time. In fact, for a man that can't sit still longer than 5 minutes, he found himself not wanting to put the book down. So, since this book belongs to the neighbors of my parents I decided I better read it first and return it sooner rather than later.

Well, I'm only on page 16 and I had to put the book down because I found myself having difficulty breathing because indeed the book grabs you right from the beginning. So far it's about a 60 something year old man that's a professional burglar. He's carefully planned out robbing this grand estate in Virginia and is now inside the house. Not of course without carefully calculating how to disarm the alarm which made me nervous. LOL Ridiculous I know---hoping the bad guy doesn't get caught---but truth be told I was holding my breath. Now he's inside carefully making his way up to the master suite and sees this full-length mirror, which he knows is a vault. He manages to get inside the vault to gather all the goods from within, and hears a vehicle drive up the driveway. He quickly resets the alarm to the house and then closes himself inside the vault. He's located a remote control inside the vault, which will allow him to escape once everyone leaves the house. (Still barely breathing.)

He crouches behind a chair inside the vault, which he knows if the people of the house open the vault he'll be easily seen behind the chair, but hides nonetheless. He figures there are 3 to 5 people who have come into the house. Now coming up the stairs towards the master bedroom where he is located 3 people enter the room, a man, a drunken woman, and a business-sounding woman. The business-sounding woman leaves the room leaving the other two. All of a sudden a burst of light hit the burglar right in the eyes and he almost gasped at the suddenness of his little world going from inky black to broad daylight. After not hearing any screams, seeing no faces or hearing any guns he peered around the chair he was hiding behind to discover the vault door seemed to have disappeared-he was staring right into the room. He recognized the people in the room, and quickly realized they could not see him as the vault door was a one-way mirror. (Reminding myself to breath.) The burglar decides to sit in the chair and wait things out until he can safely escape the house.

At this point I had to put the book down, so I could recapture my breath before going in for more. One of my reading downfalls is that I can totally get into the scene of whatever is being written as if it's happening personally to me. Great for escaping everyday reality once in awhile, but inauspicious when one is worried for a burglar being caught....LOL