Thursday, April 29, 2010

Quickened Update

Getting further and further behind with updates----not good!

The same week my Jasmine kitty passed away, my entire family drove down to southern California to see my grandmother. My grandma (my mom’s mom) is 88 years old and has been living on her own for quite a number of years. She’s out lived two husbands and has overcome many obstacles in her life, which is I’m sure a testament to her strength.

Around the end of February my grandma fell and fractured her hip. She was taken to the ER where they performed surgery inserting a still rod in her hip. She was then taken to a rehab facility where she received excellent rehabilitation along with physical therapy twice a day 6 days a week. My grandma took her recovery very seriously and really concentrated on learning all the skills she was being taught to once again regain her independence.

During this recovery time though my aunt and her husband came out from Kansas to care for her, and while doing so assumed grandma would not improve and began immediately clearing out her home by holding garage sales and such to streamline grandma’s things. This of course did not bode well with grandma or with any of my family as we felt this was too quick of a reaction. Moreover, we felt the priority should have been on grandma. We felt by providing grandma with love, support and encouragement she would flourish with her recovery. Moreover, we felt that should grandma need to move from her home due to needing assistance why not look for something in southern California where grandma had been living for 60 years and wanted to remain. Again, this was not the same focus for my aunt and her husband. Their plan and intentions were to immediately upon release haul grandma with her recovering hip back to Kansas where she knew no one. Hence our reason for rushing down to southern California to be with grandma.

We spend the weekend with her and were even able to communication with one another open and candidly our feelings on the subject matter which grandma was very open and willing to discuss.

My fear and brother’s fear was the same---we did not want her to go, especially with my uncle who was an abuser. He sexually abused my girl cousin and I when we were young girls, and he mentally abused my brother and my boy cousin also when they were young. There is no love or respect for that man in any of our hearts, and think of our 88 year old grandmother going to live under his roof was unthinkable, and we shared such thoughts with her as well.

In the end, after all was said and done, grandma decided she was not going to sell her home in southern California but would go to Kansas to live with her daughter and give it a try. She said by keeping her home in California she could always return if things didn’t work in Kansas.

Of course we keep in contact with grandma and continue to pray for her wellness, however, at times it feels like a real helpless feeling.

I realize my viewpoint on this subject matter is extremely tainted and summarized as these things have already passed so forgive the biasm.

1 comment:

on the edge said...

Every family always seems to have a " aunt" like yours that wants to be the one in control ,huh ? So sorry for your grandmother .Hope she is doing much better by now .

This seems to be a recurrent theme I am hearing from people these days ; one about Grandparents or older parents being injured and unable to care for their home or selves anymore .

Sad to say , there is always some one in the family that wants to step in and do the right thing by taking over all of the injured persons private possessions , usually to their advantage, leaving that older person with less than what they had before they became incapacitated.