Saturday, January 21, 2012

Finally Exhaled

With 2012 starting off like a sprinting race it has been non-stop go, go, go. The anticipation of the “new” to come and the many plans put in place for at least the first half of this year, it seems today (21 days into the New Year), I decided to exhale. Until this morning when I woke myself up with tears running down my cheeks, I realized I had been holding my breath this whole time. I suppose having this feeling of having so much to do (all good and desirable things), and the anticipation of how to manage it all, just momentarily took my breath away.

It’s funny in life how some times, for example, you have no idea you’re even holding your breath until that exact moment of exhale.

I suppose if I was to narrow things down and put a finger on the exact thing that caused me to hold my breath, I’d have to say it’s ‘change’. I can feel change of some kind in the air, and like most people change can be challenging. For me, if I’m honest with myself, I think I love the sense of ‘safeness’ in known routine. I love the since of ‘security’ in predictability. Mind you, I realize these terms of safeness and security are all just relative since change is inevitable, but nonetheless there’s that sense that gives us comfort.

Even if one’s existing circumstances are not as desirable as one would like, there’s still that sense of predictability that seem more tolerable than ‘unknown’ change.

On the other hand, preparing for a significant life altering change (wedding, career, family addition, purchasing a home, etc.) can be both exhilarating and somewhat terrifying all at the same time.

It seems once one goes through some kind of change or transition in their life, things eventually work themselves back into a state of predictability and calm, which is somehow comforting.

In my situation, it’s perhaps that not knowing at the moment what the change is, but rather just a ‘feeling’ of a life altering change is about to happen, which probably explains the unnoticeable breath holding I’ve been doing until this morning.

Here’s to remembering to breath. :0)