Thursday, June 26, 2008



when you cry...

no one sees your tears.


when you are in pain...

no one sees your hurt.


when you are worried..

no one sees your stress


when you are happy..

no one sees your smile








FART !! just ONE time...

And everybody knows!!

You thought this was going to be one of those heart-touching stories!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I'm all for adoption. Show me where!!!!!!


We need to extend our hearts to those little one's that need loving and caring mums and good homes, which I know we all are and can provide.

I have already put my name down on the list and am willing to take them for at least one night each week, as this is the right thing to do and our family just needs to understand. It is our duty to stand by these twins and supply them with their daily needs for survival and a chance of a happy life. In the end it will enrich all of us, especially me.

Please look at the attached pictures and soften your hearts for these twins.

So Cute

Monday, June 23, 2008

Weekend Adventures

This was an interesting weekend. Certainly not one I probably would have sought out to do, but nonetheless embraced.

You know if you just leave yourself open to many aspects of life it's interesting what you will find, experience or be presented with. I think if we can keep ourselves open to these interesting adventures there's always lessons or wisdom that can be learned by them.

Friday night Amira and I were invited to go to a Goddess Gathering at a campsite near a lake. Aside from the "campsite" part, since this little darling (me) does not like camping, I figured it would be a fun adventure to find out exactly what happens at a "Goddess Gathering". After the experience, I'm still not entirely sure what it was suppose to be about because we had to leave early, BUT we did have fun hanging out with a group of women from all different cultural, spiritual, ethnical backgrounds. Although felt a little out of place since Amira and I were nearly the only girls there that didn't have a tattoo or body piercing. Well, I have my ears pierced, but that's it. Perhaps we were considered the odd-balls there or at the very least unsophisticated due to not being worldly or cultured. LOL Anyway, the group of women were great, the food was great, and the over all evening was enjoyable. It was suppose to be a celebration of the Summer Solstice. Although, honestly, I don't exactly know what that means so just went along for the food, fun and enjoyment of other ladies.

I received a voicemail Thursday afternoon from a dear friend of mine who just came back into town from Hawaii letting me know that she was here because her mother just passed away on Wednesday afternoon (may God bless her soul), and that the funeral was to be on Saturday morning. So, I contacted my parents to see if they could possibly watch Amira so I could attend this funeral service. It was a lovely service for such a remarkably pious woman. One of the things I learned about, Esther (friend's mom) was that she was a WAVE, which was a division of the U.S. Navy during the World War II era. As part of her funeralservice they had members of the United States Navy Honor Guard there to perform a small military service in honor of her passing and duty to service. It was beautiful and very touching. In addition the military service they also had a pastor speak over the service on behalf of the family, which was very nice because this was the first funeral I can ever recall attending where the person speaking actually new the dearly departed individual. Ironic as it may sound there seems to always be something of profound knowledge or wisdom that comes from funerals. At this particular one they read a passage from the bible from the 91st Psalm which in part reads He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him I will trust. It was such a beautiful passage as well as a reminder to trust God in all things. To remind us not to sweat things and to remember God has and knows the plan, it's our duty to trust in Him.

We are living in such uncertain times like no other times I recall. Perhaps merely because I'm older now and pay more attention to this stuff. Or maybe because I'm a mom now and therefore see life differently. All I know is nothing is like it was once before. The things we once were able to count on or depend on are no longer available. Perhaps we as Americans are experiencing for the first time in a very long time very unchartered territories due to the economical status of this country as well as the rest of the world. I think as Americans we've led a very fortunate life compared to so many others; however, due to the recent economical struggles I have to wonder if we are being forced to live a very different life than that we've previously known. Certainly going back to the basics or simplicity of life is a wonderful thought as truly what else is there but God, family and friends. Except that some people panic during the uncertainties and tend to act like maniacs. Awwwww the human spirit—isn't it something?

Until the next adventure, I wish you well.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Happy Father's Day

Daddy's Girl
When I was young, pony-tailed, dimpled cheeks, I was a daddy's girl.

I still am.

I looked at you for your security, for love and attention, for the understanding, and the patience I lacked as a child?

You were the center of my small world, the focus of my affections, the star that lit my life, shining bright. Shining still in my heart.
The years have led me here, weathered with maturity and responsibilities, and I see more clearly now. The hardships, burdens of love, and all the small sacrifices you made for me, for our family.
You and mom both created stability, a place to call home. All the photographs I browse through of a childhood long forgotten, but with remembered smiles. So happy and so loved.

The mere thought of becoming that role model is enough to send me cowering, afraid... looking for guidance. Turning to both you and mom for support, advice, wise counsel, and for approval.
Grown up, I see differently now...
A new perspective of a man I have always known. My heart is full, my emotions overpowering just in the certainty of that bond. You’ve been there for me through all the conflicts helping me over the rough, ragged stones of growing up. My respect for you is unending, faith is unbound, and love is unquestioning.
Even in the midst of all my imperfections, you’re lenient, ignoring the pitfalls, the downfalls, the shortcomings, you just accepted me as I was, as I am.
The sheer purity of it leaves me awe-struck and it lifts me up, it holds my head a little higher, it keeps me in balance, harmonizing with the world around me beautifully, like an inspired masterpiece from the soul of an honest man. I am honored to know you, to love you, to be of you.
You’re my hero, and I am your daughter, your little girl.
Happy Father's Day to all of our wonderful dads.

Friday, June 13, 2008


T.G.I.F. = Thank God It's Friday

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Amira's Adventures

Well in light of everything we've been experiencing with mom's situation, Amira's been having some pretty fun adventures.

One night I had a dinner "meeting" so she went with my brother, his family and my cousins to a minor league baseball game. She's been before but now that she's almost 5 she's more intriqued and interactive with everything. She and cousin Pat, who really gets into all sporting events, were taunting the umpire with things such as...."oh come on blue what kind of call is that". During the innings they also play music, so again she and cousin Pat would stand up and dance. I'm telling you cousin Pat is a kick in the pants so was a bit envious of Amira hanging out with her and the family. Especially after the "meeting". Ok, well it wasn't exactly a "meeting" but in a way it was sort of. I had recently met someone and we had been talking and chatting online, so we were meeting for dinner. I'm telling you this much, no matter how old you get this part is the worst part......getting to know someone to see if there's the possibility of a relationship.

It was a nice evening. We had dinner at a place call Joe's Crab Shack which is located right on the river. So it was lovely to sit outside on the patio area over looking the water and enjoying the sunset. Conversation was good and his company was nice. However, I get the feeling we are going to be great friends but nothing further. He's also divorced and has two children. He's been divorced for over a year and a half, but there's just something that tells me he's not completely over the shell shock of being divorced, which I completely understand when you are not the one that wanted the divorce in the first place. Anyway, it was a nice evening and if nothing else I have a new friend, but really I'm not looking to date a bunch of people----hate that--never have been good at it and don't want to learn now----just want to meet someone and start a new chapter of life with them.

Anyway back to Amira's adventures. After the ball game and learning how to cheer and taunt the umpire we hung out with cousin Pat and Pooh for the remainder of their stay. Always a wonderful adventure with them.......filled with lots of laughter.

Last Sunday I needed to work so Amira went to her friend Angela's house for a few hours. Before taking her there I got a text from MixedUpMe asking to pack her swimsuit, which Amira was thrilled to hear. When I got off work and went to get her they were still at the pool. MixedUpMe shared that she had a great time but never once got in the water.....only sat on the stairs with her feet in the water. :-) But it's all good as she had a great time. In one day that little girl's olive complexion immediately darkened to a beautiful color while poor white girl mom takes nearly all summer to look the same color as her in the dead of winter....LOL

Other fun adventures coming up so will keep ya posted.

Sunday, June 8, 2008



Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments and prayers. As always they are so very appreciated.

Yesterday morning before visiting hours began I called the hospital to check on my mom. I was a little startled because she sounded either tired or down, which compared to the day before seemed a little unsettling. I asked if she was ok and she informed me the doctor had just come by and informed her they were going to give her a blood tranfusion. She wasn't certain why and she was very concerned about it.

Of course one of us (dad, brother or myself) try to always be in the hospital with her in the hopes we actually get to see the doctor when they make their once a day patient rounds so we can understand what's going on and ask any questions. However, this seems to prove a very difficult task as even when we are in the room waiting all day long and they leave for two seconds to go to the restroom then magically the doctor appears, gives their report to the patient whose not too with it and then vanishes in thin air. We joked last night that they must have video cams in each patients room and strategically monitor when we are there and when we leave. Knowing time is crucial when we leave, the medical staff drops down through the ceiling, reports their findings to my mom who won't understand or maybe even remember their there due to the medications and then zip back up through the ceiling ducts as soon as a code goes off in the room to indicate the enemy/family is returning. Very frustrating for dad to say the least.

However, thank god for us we have cousin Pat with us which they don't know about who is translating all this madness to us. Due to mom coding at least 4 times in one day, possibly more, she's lost a lot of cells, which will result in tiredness. Once the hospital was able to remove all the fluids from her body including lungs they were able to treat the low blood count with a transfusion which takes normally anywhere from three to four hours.

Suffice it to say it went well and mom was released to come home last night. Now if we could possibly get dad to attend some kind of "stress management" course I think they family could get back on track. Again, cousin Pat was able to talk to him last night and encourage him to take care of himself and to let go of the things he has absolute no control over because if he didn't there was a good chance we'd find ourselves back in the hospital and it would be him we were visiting not mom.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Bump in the road

Well got a call yesterday morning from my dad that mom went back in the hospital again. She was having difficulty breathing. They are still running a series of test on her as well as trying to get all of the fluids off her body as she seems to be retaining a lot.

According to my cousin who just arrived from Arizona and who is also a nurse, she's assured us that my mom's coloring looks FANTASTIC and that this really isn't so much a bump in the road, but rather more of a little fine tuning they are doing. She said she would have been surprised if my mom never had to go back for any readjustments of anything (i.e., meds).

They just keep reminding us that her heart was really, really sick and that she's doing incredibly well considering the severe hit her poor little heart took.

They will keep her in the hospital for a couple of more days just to make sure they get all the fluids off her and have time to review, analyze and decide what to do with all of her test results.

Thank you so much for your kindness, words, thoughts and prayers. You mean so much to me.