Monday, June 18, 2007

Monday laugh

Mondays or as I normally refer to them as Moan Days, can be so overwhelmingly dreadful, boring and downright unpleasant. So, when I received the following below this morning I just had to share in the hopes of making Moan Days less painful.


A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today."

"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed him the card, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread...

1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

4. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

6. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

7. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.



Happymoi said...

Here it is Saturday. Not mondays. As we have no weekends. Well for awhile we had Friday and Saturday off and now its just Friday off...So is there anything such as Sad Saturday? Sleepy Sat or i dont know?!!
I hope you are doing well.Have a chocalate and some say red bull(energy drink) helps lol..never tried it..i was going to when i had to study for criminal law but my bro insisted that i mix water n suger and i would get the same result..2 which i replied thank u i'll just do without!!

Mixed Up Me said...

Oh my goodness, I almost fell off of the chair when I read that spaghetti story. Serves the jerk right!!!!!!

Have a great day and a great week. We should get some play time in this week . . . we have a lot to make up!!

a_akak said...

Well i agree with Monday's as Moan Day but the worst thing is just waking up after partially getting use to sleeping in and love the remadies lol and the italian letter was perfict

Thanks :)

Fe aman Allah

ibeebarbie said...

Salam Happymoi,
Ok, how about if we call Saturdays Sigh Days? That way we still allow any day to be a sad days as those do occasionally arise.

Good suggestion on the chocolate – that’s an every day thing, right? It’s it part of the nutritional food chain of daily requirements?

I’m with you on passing on red bull drink (name alone seems too intense) and the sugar water----the high is too short lived. :o)

Hi Mixed Up Me,
Glad you got a chuckle. I laughed pretty hard myself. Looking forward to our play dates.

Salam Ahmed,
Yes the dreaded getting up sooner than we’d like really stinks. :p
occassionally arise.

MaySoon said...

LOOL funny, thanks for sharing IbeeB, I loved # 5 home remedy...LOL

Lebeeya said...

LOL! Loved the SPAGHETTI joke. Thanks for the laugh... an affair to rememeber :P

Romana said...

hahahahahah HA HA HA HA HA HA yestahel!!! thats what happens with u fool around!!! u get 2 spaghetti with meat balls and one w/out!!! Inshalla guys would understand the gist of it o mayemshoosh and have spaghetti for lunch!!! lol

thanks for sharing ibee...