Saturday, April 7, 2007

Togetherness

Well last night was the first time in a very long time that my entire family spent together outside of either a holiday or some sort of family crisis, alhamdullilah.

My dad loves baseball, and since we have a semi-pro team in our town, he thought it would be fun for the whole family to go. Indeed it was a great time, alhamdullilah.

I was so surprised and pleased to see how many families were also enjoying the game, alhamdullilah. I actually have a couple of philosophical topics on the whole night, but will stick with one. =)

Why does it seem so difficult for people to gather and spend time together? It becomes a huge production just to get together for anything. Unless, of course, it’s surrounding a holiday, which is pretty much a given ‘family’ time or an unexpected family emergency. I find the latter most fascinating because the excuses we so often use for not being able to get together are – I’m too busy, I have to work, etc. However, when a family emergency occurs immediately everyone’s calendar and time frees up to gather. Unbelievable!

I wonder if sometimes the family pressure is too much and thus causes us to avoid the gatherings. Or if sometimes gathering as a family causes us to revert back to our ‘roles’ in the family unit (i.e., the child/parent syndrome), and rears old unhealed wounds. I wonder if we put undo pressure on ourselves to be a certain way around the family or set unreasonable standards upon ourselves that we think everyone else expects us to be, which then leaves us wanting to avoid the whole gathering in the first place.

Whatever the situation, for me it was an incredible evening to spend time with my family without it being a holiday and wearing all our formal costumes for the event nor was it a family emergency that required us to be together. We all came on our own free will, and seemed to all equally agree it was great and to do it again, inshallah.

8 comments:

a_akak said...

i am happy that your family has got together, "you dont know how much something means to you until you loose it" so i would try to grab every moment and try to get all ur family together :)

Take Care

Lost-Libyan said...

well, I would certainly agree on the high standards we set. u know Im not a family guy type of person, coz u feel u owe them an explanation for personal details about ur life, and if u prefer not to answer question marks start hovering around u which eventually lead to more pressure!
but as long as u enjoyed it. 7'alas make sure u do that some other time ;)

ibeebarbie said...

@ a_akak - I agree with 100% to cherish the moments before you for we never truly know how long they will last, alhamdullilah.

@lost-libyan - Perhaps with age comes discernment with not feeling you have to explain yourself to the world. Then again, maybe it's an individual thing. However, it's also a fine line one walks between opening themselves up to others and remaining solitude.

mani said...

Salam Ibee

there's probably nothing more powerful and intimate than feeling the divine touch of love or beauty and instinctively wanting to share that with another.

Sharing it with the family and loved ones...

I envy you..

do more of it please :)

salam

cofman said...

Hey?
Good pointed questions, all of them, sharp and well presented to be honest

I don’t know the answer or any answer unfortunately,

Bu I do understand for sure

Let me fix the keyboard, lol, I hope this comment won’t take too much of your time
( but been told not many people read all comments … just as well lol )

I was talking to my partner about a story I heard from a father of an 18 yr old son
The dad told me about his relationship with his only son – and between the son & his step mother

At first, I really couldn’t believe my ears … just listened and listened … then asked him:-
Is this true what you are telling me?
Yes, he said
Weird, I said
Yeah, you don’t hear much nowadays of these stories, do you?

In short, his relationship with his son was like the relationship between twin brothers – simply unbelievable

He is soooo proud of his son, and very rightly so, when his son passed his driving test, his dad – though financially not in excellent shape – he bought him a brand new car, at around $20,000
The boy didn’t really need it, as a matter of fact wasn’t soo keen driving such a car of this value

But the father said: I really wanted him to feel special, I wanted him to know, and to show his friends, that I love my boy

When I asked why so?
He said: his son never tells lies – simply does not – since he was a baby

As for the son, each time he wants something from the fridge, say, ( I know a bit strange this story ), the son always asks: could I please help myself … ???

I was a bit confused and speechless, really

I don’t know if there is any answer to your questions ,,, I just felt maybe the way we are brought up, and surely our surroundings and circumstances … plus how we value simple basic needs , ie being with our loved ones … I thought maybe, just maybe it might add to the picture

Ahh..

There are so many questions I like to ask, but with time I am sure they will be answered

Hey? have a nice day

ibeebarbie said...

@ Manin - Salam! You are absolutely correct. I cannot think of anything more powerful, intimate or precious than feeling the dvine touch of love, Allahakbar. What better way for Allah to show us, alhamdullilah.

@ cofman - Are humans not the most fascinating creatures you've ever met in your life? I cannot imagine anything more intriquing. ;-)

cofman said...

thanks a lot

here again, you said it:-

we are " intriquing "

I remember another story, an old lady I met while waiting for the bus to take me to town, … during college days …

we might talk / share what we have ,

( yeah, still searching for comments I posted 3 days ago … lol … I am sure I’ll find them … But WHEN ??? lol )

ibeebarbie said...

cofman - I'm sure your comments were great - and now to regenerate them and place them in the appropriate blog----yikes! Good luck my friend. :-)