Thursday, April 24, 2008

Latest on "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.


OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.


GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

(Perhaps this is where the expression "a face only a mother could love" came about.)

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...





ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road



JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

(Now who's the chicken here, John?)


NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

(Could you imagine waking up next to her-----shutter)


PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.






MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.




DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.



ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.


(Now, those are some uplifting thoughts.)



JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that. (And they say Arabs are scary.......please.)

GRANDPA JONES:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.


(Grandpa Jones seems to be the brightest one in the bunch.)

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.


JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.





ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.






BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^<>C% ........ reboot.


ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?






BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?






AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!






COLONEL SANDERS (KFC):
Did I miss one?


(Spoken like a true Corporate CEO)



DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?


(Yes, Dick that seems to be your answer to everything.)


Rev. AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens!


(Let it gooooooooooo Al.)

13 comments:

PH said...

loooooooooooool

I liked Grandpa Jones comment the most, his was the one I related to :P. I think Al-Gores comment wasn't that good thought. I think he would have said :

If we don't stop global warming there will be no chickens left to cross the street :))))).

salaam and thanks for the laugh

MusicLover said...

No comment this time.


Anna Ternheim - Shoreline
youtube.com/watch?v=xFofMFww_ag

Anna Ternheim - Lovers Dream
youtube.com/watch?v=zebZVO0Xo3g&
feature=related

http://www.annaternheim.com/

Anglo-Libyan said...

salam ibeebarbie

very funny, you should have added your own :o)

ibeebarbie said...

Salam PH,
I agree Grandpa Jones was the only realist in the bunch. :-) Good one about Al Gore as well. :-)

Salam MusicLover,
As always, thank you.

Salam Anglo-Libyan,
LOL---well my own little part added was the sarcasm in the () after some of them. ;-)

dusk till dawn said...

salam ibee
thats very cool ,and funny .
i like Bill clinton comment.
but he did have a taste of it ha ha if u know what i mean

MaySoon said...

LOOOOOOL
I loved GWB & KFC's comments hehhehe

on the edge said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
on the edge said...

She was trying to get the toast !

A.Adam said...

COLONEL SANDERS (KFC):
Did I miss one?
....no he crossed the road because there was a KFC on the other side and he was a cannibal.

many chicken crossed the road and some didn't make it.
is it a joke?
what about humans crossing the road?

Amina said...

that was hilarious

dusk till dawn said...

hi ibee
Adnan likes the comment made by Nancy Grace as he was fllowing the story of the missing girl in aurba 2006 ,can u up date him ha ha.

ibeebarbie said...

Salam Dusk Till Dawn,
LOL

Salam Maysoon,
Glad you enjoyed.

Salam On the edge,
Ooooops, think I missed the first comment.

Salam A.Adam,
Hmmmmmmmm, I think humans sometimes are like chickens as well-----not sure which side of the street they should be on.

Salam Amina,
Glad you enjoyed.

Salam Dusk Till Dawn,
LOL@Adnan enjoying Nancy Grace. Poor guy---really DTD you need to get him out more.

Rose Bud said...

That was funny!