Tuesday, August 21, 2007

THE LAWS OF LIFE

Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop
Any tool, when dropped,
will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability
The probability of being watched
is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone
If you dial a wrong number,
you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire,
the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes),
the one you were in,
will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water,
the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs/Carpets
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location
No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law
As soon as you find a product that you really like,
they will stop making it. (this one is true every time!)

Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor,
by the time you get there you'll feel better.
Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

9 comments:

Mixed Up Me said...

Okay I have one that I always tell my Mom when she goes on vacation and I have to pet sit . . .

The Law of Mom's Indoor Cat:
Mom's indoor cat will inevitably escape to the front yard everytime Mixed Up Me pet sits and then she will go under the car, under the middle of the car, where no human arm can reach without the help of a mechanical arm, then the cat will forget her name and lay there as if she is deaf!!!!!!!!!!

I love that cat!!

PH said...

These are all funny thanks for sharing them :). I want to add my personal experiences with some of them :

"Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will."


Once a friend asked me to fix his computer so I popped over to his office and when I got there I told him to show me what the problem was and his computer wouldn't crash at all ( for me to diagnose the problem ) and worked smoothly without any problems ..... on my way out of his office it crashed :))))))))))).

"Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers."


I get that when I'm checking my mail in the morning, if there is anyone walking into the mail room with me then his mail box is next to mine ...... :(

"Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about."


I guess this applies to my opinion on my Halal/Haram post were I said you have to be knowledgeable of a topic ( religion ) in order to issues decrees ....... :p.

salaam and thanks for the laugh.

ibeebarbie said...

Hi Mixed Up Me,
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL @ I love that cat!!

Salam PH,
LOOOOOL Thanks for sharing your examples. I use to have that same problem with the mailbox where I use to live---hated that---always thought I was timing it just right. Glad you got a laugh out of it. :-)

dusk till dawn said...

wise lady
ur topic is got alot of complecation .i have to write to the unite nation to ask for crarfication ha ha,give time to reply ,

Lost-Libyan said...

lol...Ibee one post after the next and ur popularity level is booming!
that was all very extremely true and factual!! :P

I was laughing my ass off 'till my supervisor starred at me in a way to tell me I need to take it down a notch lol :P

Anglo-Libyan said...

salam ibeebarbie

lol you made me laugh this morning, thank you :o)

they are all funny but my favourite and which I think is completely true is the first one:

Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

ibeebarbie said...

Salam Dusk Till Dawn,
LOL!

Salam Lost-Libyan,
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! Oh I know that "look". Immediately it brought a Friends eposide to me about Ross closing his fingers and making the "quiet down" sign.

Salam Anglo-Libyan,
I'm glad to make you laugh. Laughter by far is the absolute best. :-)

maiuna said...

funny and so true!! they happen all the time, thanks for sharing.

ibeebarbie said...

Salam Maiuna,
So lovely of you to stop by-thank you.

I'm guilty of the Variation Law all the time on either the highway or the grocery store. :-)